WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2016

Next Tuesday Will Be National Voter Registration Day

Hurley the Historian says in 2008, six million Americans didn’t vote because they missed a registration deadline or didn’t know how to register. So in 2016, a bunch of do-gooders with way too much time on their hands want to make sure no one is left out.

That’s why next Tuesday, September 27, volunteers, celebrities, and organizations from all over the country will supposedly be “hitting the streets” for National Voter Registration Day. This single day of coordinated field, technology, and media efforts will presumably create pervasive awareness of voter registration opportunities–allowing the do-gooders to reach tens of thousands of voters whom they couldn’t reach otherwise.

This Feel Good Pseudo Event is scheduled for the day after what will surely be the most-watched Presidential Debate in History next Monday, so most people should already be aware of the November Elections in now only 48 more days. 

Meanwhile, The Blower, as the Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda, is asking all our persons of consequence to do a couple of things.

First, take a moment to check over your own voter registration here.  You can’t vote if you’re not registered.

Second, use the same voter registration here link to find out if your friends are registered to vote. Type in your friend’s First Name, Last Name, County, and hit “Search.”  It doesn’t get any easier than that.

 Third, if your friend is a Republican, make sure you tell him to register at his local Board of Elections.

Fourth, if you even suspect your friend could in any way possibly be a DemocRAT, DO NOT TELL HIM TO REGISTER TO VOTE.  The son of a bitch is obviously irresponsible and he’s patently too freaking stupid to be allowed anywhere near a voting booth.

This is your Official “National Voter Registration Day” Notice.
Any other “National Voter Registration Day you may see anywhere else is obviously fake.