TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2016
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
I’m waiting to see how early the other candidates call to concede after my YUGE victory in tonight’s Republican caucuses in Nevada. —Donald Trump, Trying Not To Seem Too Overconfident
Surely I’ll get more votes than Donald Trump when Ohio voters go to the polls to vote in the Ohio Republican Presidential Primary on March 15.—Ohio Governor John Kasich, Campaigning In Georgia Today, When The Political World Is Focused On The GOP Caucuses In Nevada
Does anybody really believe Republicans in Congress will go along with my four-point plan to close the detention center at GITMO, including finding a facility in the US to hold any remaining detainees? —Obama
If 57% of the likely voters say I’m not trustworthy, does that mean 43% are really stupid? —Hillary
I hope everybody in Cincinnati is really proud of me when I’m called to testify in the Senate about all that progress I was supposed to make after Obama put me in charge of the Veteran’s Administration. —Disgraced Ex P&G CEO Bob McDonald
We really prefer riding to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and standing in line to vote, rather than mailing in absentee ballots. —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5
Who can Cincinnati City Mangler “Baltimore Harry” Black and I now blame for the all that waste, fraud and abuse at the Metrolpolitan Sewer District? —Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley
We’re seriously thinking of submitting a bid for the naming rights on the Cincinnati Streetcar. —Dummy’s Restaurants
Did the Republican National Committee call today to announce their 2016 National Convention is being changed from Cleveland to Cincinnati? —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
In case you missed our prediction last year, The Blower went on record and predicted the 2016 Republican National Convention would NOT be held in Cincinnati. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Even we would never go so far as to support FREE needles for drug users. —The FREE Grain Party
Now that Black History Month will soon be over, everybody’s wondering when it’ll be “White History Month.” —Curious Caucasians
What’s the biggest difference between Black History Month and St. Patrick’s Day? On St. Patrick’s Day everybody wants to be Irish. —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
Whoever chose February for Black History Month must be a racist, because the month usually only has 28 days. That’s something Cincinnati’s new “Inclusion Czar” will have to change. —Cincinnati City Clown-Cil Stupid Streetcar Flip Flopper P.G. Sitt-n-Spin and African-American Chamber of Commerce CEO Sean Rugless
Maybe that’s why we chose Rush Limbaugh’s: “Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?” —Your Quote for Today Committee
People always ask me why there’s always so much Black History Month Hype. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
We have African-Americans, Mexican-Americans, Asian-Americans, Arab-Americans, and Native-Americans. How about “Just Plain Americans?” —Arnie from Alexandria
Minorities are proud to be black, brown, yellow, and orange, and they’re not afraid to tell you about it. But when white people even admit they’re white, somebody will always call them racist.—Larry from Ludlow
Whenever a white person fails to cut Obama some slack (because he’s half-black), will Liberal bloggers stop whacking off in their basements long enough to label that white person a racist? —Fred from Florence
There’s an Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, a Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, but on the South Shore, all we have is the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce. —Bluegrass Business Leaders
We’re sorry to see all of The Blower’s racial healing Black History Month coverage about to end. —Gay Darkies
During this week in 1964, Louisville native Bluegrass Butterfly Cassius Clay stung like a bee when he knocked out Sonny Liston to become the world heavyweight boxing champ. So what if Cassius changed his name to Muhammad Ali. At least it wasn’t Barack Hussein. —Hurley the Historian
Target practice for Northern Kentucky Teachers is scheduled at the Boondoggle County Target Range on Wednesday evening. —Constable Joe Kalil and Sheriff Mike Helmig
Does anybody remember when Ronald “One Ball” Corman was shot in the groin during a lengthy standoff one year ago in Vanilla Hills, because sometimes bleeding-heart Juries go easy on a defendant who’s had a testicle and part of his penis shot off. —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
Am I acting tought enough obstructing Obama from getting to appoint his Supremem Court Nominee these days? —Kentucky’s US Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell
Will Bill Clinton be coming to Northern Kentucky to campaign for Hillary for BB&BJ Day on March 20? —Horny in Hebron
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All
We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
What time are the Caucuses From Kentucky on tonight? —TV 19’s Lingerie-Model-Turned-Reporter-Turned-Anchorbimbo Tricia “Leemarie” Macke
At press time, we still hadn’t seen a new video from “Uncle Jay Explains the News” for this week, but Our Good Friend Bobby Leach has something all you Master Baiters out there might enjoy.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Master Baiters.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of racists to show that the hypocrisy all those finger-pointers will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Liberal blogger whacking off in his mother’s basement.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — You know who you are.
WHY WE’LL ALL MISS BLACK HISTORY MONTH ON THURSDAY HOT LINE
e-mail your multi-cultural mumblings today.
Some multi-cultural items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally multi-cultural contributors, but we could always use more.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Donald Trump Tells You How He Really Feels About Protesters
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
