TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2015
Déjà vu All Over Again
For the past two years Charles Foster Kane has voted early by mail, but this year, our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher was glad he’d decided to save the 69-cents first class postage so he could check out all those problems Kneepad Liberals were reporting voters had at the polling places in Hamilton County.
Two years ago, Kane said they should’ve moved his polling place from the church basement to the neighborhood nursing home. It would smell the same and the people who work at the polls wouldn’t have so far to go. Usually, Republican poll workers gave out stickers Republican voters that said “I VOTED” and DemocRAT poll workers handed out stickers to the DemocRAT voters that said “I VOTED TWICE.” But on that first Tuesday in November, Precinct G in Anderson ran out of “I Voted” stickers. Precinct H didn’t even get any to begin with. They must have been expecting a really low turnout. Or maybe Hamilton County Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP was in charge of the planning.
This year they had a new electronic voter sign-in system that might take a little getting used to, since Irresponsible Ohio, the fine folks behind efforts to make Marijuana Legal for their potential customers, succeeded in keeping the polls open till 9:00 PM, but Kane remembered the last time he voted in person when he wondered if all those poll workers got the same amount of money on Election Day, because shouldn’t the geezer who took 15 minutes not to find your name in the book get more than the smelly old lady whose only job seemed to be to sit next him hollering, “Could you spell your name louder?”
This year for Real Republicans in Anderson, the voting couldn’t have been much easier.
There were those Three Big Statewide Issues.
There was no Permanent Charter Amendment for Cincinnati City Parks on the Anderson Ballot.
TEA Party Guy Matt Bevin wasn’t on the ballot in Ohio.
But there were two Republican-Endorsed, Republican-Appointed Judges Berkowitz and Kissinger to retain not re-elect.
Fiscal Officer Ken “Just One More Budweiser, Please” Dietz running unopposed for re-election for the umpteenth time.
Two bozos on the Forrest Gump School Board (Randy Smith and Jim Frooman) who were responsible for last year’s Tax Hike Scam that’s costing every property owner in Anderson a fortune were running unopposed. Screw those bastards, we left their spaces blank.
The only race of any consequence for Real Republicans in Anderson was Township Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson’s 28th re-election campaign against a Disguised DemocRAT who tried to tell people she was an “Independent.” They’ll really be sweating out the results at The Russler’s Victory Party tonight at Post 318 hosted by fellow trustee Andy Pappas. You’ll know how that race turned out when you see which headline The Blower chooses for tomorrow’s Official “Election Results” E-dition: “Jackson Wins” or “Fraud at the Polls.”
