Wednesday, November 11, 2015

With A Stop At Walgreens For Some Much-Needed Beano

Mess Call was 1730 this evening for members of the Anderson Veterans Society of all races, creeds, and sexual orientations on the Second Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl.

The Breakfast Brigade began at 0600 outside Ohio Second District Congressman’s “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Office located at 7954 PFC James Miller IV Memorial Highway (aka Beechmont Avenue), so Anderson Veterans could visit every one of the 487 area restaurants in Anderson and the surrounding tri-state areas offering Free Food for Veterans on Veterans Day 2015, including Bob Evans (Hotcakes, brioche French toast, and the country biscuit breakfast),  IHOP (Red, White & Blue Pancakes, which come with glazed strawberries (red), blueberry compote (blue), and whipped cream (white), Denny’s (Pancakes, eggs, bacon, fruit, and hash browns), and White Castle (Breakfast slider and a small coffee or other drink).

Lunch on the Second Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl included a complimentary meal at the Market Buffet at Belterra; Bang Bang Shrimp at Bonefish Grill in Montgomery; three-cheese chicken penne, 7-oz. sirloin, and double crunch shrimp at Applebee’s; and chicken parmigiana, lasagna, or cheese ravioli, with unlimited soup or salad and breadsticks at Olive Garden.

Unfortunately, the University Club’s invitation arrived too late, or our Grub Crawlers would’ve really enjoyed the free Spicy Tomato & Chickpea Soup, Beef Croquette & Roasted Belgian Endive, Raw Vegetable Salad, Chicken Salad on White Bread, Spring Mix with Bacon, Mushrooms, & Egg, and Black & Bleu Salad as an afternoon snack to tide them over until dinner.

Dinner on tonight’s Second Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl included a complimentary appetizer at Red Lobster; a special entrée on the house at Hooters, if you know what we mean; a free Blooming Onion appetizer and free beverages at the Outback Steakhouse; a Free Veterans Dinner for Veterans and three of their friends at the Anderson Center; a special sit-down dinner, free of charge at Golden Corral; and for a special dessert, Double Chocolate Fudge Coca-Cola Cake at Cracker Barrel.

A Veterans’ Wall honoring hundreds of Anderson High School alumni, teachers, and support staff who’ve served or are serving in the military was dedicated at 7 PM on Veterans Day at ceremonies attended by a standing-room audience in the school cafeteria. Each person on the wall is identified with a plaque bearing his (or her) name, branch of service, and other details.

SPEAKING OF PATRIOTIC: Veterans at last year’s Veterans Day Dinner at the Anderson Center were so gratified reading all those hand-written thank-you notes from those cute little area elementary school children, organizers wanted to see if some of the high school honor students at Anderson and Turpin could show how much they’ve learned during their years of education in the Forrest Gump School System.

A Turpin Sophomore wrote: “Thank you for your service to our countrie. I always think of you when I look at the flag. Have a great day. Happy veteran’s day.” —Sincerely, Melissa; An Anderson Junior wrote: “Thank you for serving our country. We are thankfull for your service. Thanks for being brave. Happy Veterans Day. —Your Friend, Zack”; And our Turpin Valedictorian wrote” Thank you for your service to this country. Your service let me and my firneds go for to school. I have freedom because of you. You made a commitment to let people be free and be able to vote. I thank you for your service. —Sincerely, Grace.” 94-year-old A.J. Hammond, the oldest veteran in attendance, said, “Grace will go far. She really knows how to suck up.”

Note: the reason all of these hand-written letters were printed is because cursive is no longer taught in the Forrest Gump School District, where last year dumbed-down voters approved that humongous $103 million Tax Hike Scam (that will really cost $170 million on top of the thousands of dollars in school taxes property owners are already paying).

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about his personal patriotic message on Veterans Day. No, it wasn’t just by driving the bus on the Second Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl, where Anderson Veterans could visit every one of the 487 area restaurants offering Free Food for Veterans, but our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher tried to send a patriotic message to the hate-America crowd by hanging a large American flag above his driveway. Others Kane wanted to send a message to included rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horn-swagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists.”

REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.