Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
WEDNESDAY, MAY 16, 2018
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— Welcoming Gina Haspel As Our New CIA Directress — —Tonight’s Top Trump Tweet —
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE
— Whistleblower NFL Super Bowl Boycott Countdown Continues —
— Anderson Redskin Uprising —
Today at a high school in Illinois, a school resource officer was hailed as a hero for shooting and arresting a former student who fired on him in a hallway while staff and seniors were meeting for a graduation rehearsal.
Today in the Forest Hills School District, we all have to hopes the our ONE resource officer guesses the right school out of our nine schools to be in at the “right time.”
Wouldn’t you rather see your over-taxed payers’ dollars going to hiring more Resource Officers, instead of changing our 80-year-old Team Name.
KEEP OUR REDSKINS
Our Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says:
Please tell the Hamilton County Commissioners today, Feckless Fishwapper Scott Wartman wrote, in part: “No one has disputed the need to better fund child welfare. But it’s another in a long list of entities asking for tax money in Hamilton County.”
Mr. Wartman’s gotta be kidding.
Maybe “no one” has disputed, etc., but a whole helluva lot of already-way-overtaxed Hamilton County property owners have, and continue to, even as they make their plans to move out.
Why not give all the addicts one-way Greyhound tickets to California? There they provide “free” tents and donuts so druggies can live on the lawn of the LA City Hall — among other places all over that once-great state.
The Blower Is Still Waiting For Our Soros-Funded Boycott For Mocking David Hogg To Begin
— Tonight’s Whistleblower Not-Faking News —
“All The News That’s Not To Fake”
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
HOLLYWOOD, California (Big Hairy News) – American celebrities have formed a group to send aid to Palestinians protesting at the Israeli border.
The organization, Celebrities Rally Around Palestinians, is sending thousands of care packages to Palestinian relief agencies. Each package includes:
$100 gift certificate to Cheesecake Factory
An assortment of hair styling products from com
Two days car rental upgrade from Beverly Hills Luxury Car Rental
Complimentary waxing from Smooth & Beautiful
Seaweed wrap and facial from The Beverly Wilshire Resort and Spa
Designer cookware from Wolfgang Puck
Free one-year membership to Planet Fitness
Canine obedience class from Pampered Poochie
A car cover from Beverly Hills Auto Accessories
$200 gift certificate from Hustler Hollywood
Free popcorn for a year from AMC Theaters
Complimentary OT I – V level The tan cleansing from Church Of Scientology
Oprah Winfrey was on hand to see off the first shipment Tuesday (below).
TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
Tonight’s Top Three Items Published In The Original Printed Edition Of The Whistleblower (Not The Newswire) Nearly 27 Years Ago (Edition #51 Published On May 21, 1991)
— Tonight’s Top Whistleblower Political Poster —
— HERE’S HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Was Day Number 481 And There Are Now Only 901 More Days Until Trump’s Re-Election Day on November 3, 2020.