— Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda —    

TUESDAY, AUGUST 29, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap

(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)

— Tonight’s Top Sight-And-Sound Bites —
DURING THE AFTERMATH OF A CATASTROPHE, PRESIDENT TRUMP PUTS OBAMA TO SHAME

TRUMP HOLDS UP TEXAS FLAG, TELLS CROWD “TEXAS CAN HANDLE ANYTHING”

CNN, MSNBC ASK TED CRUZ ABOUT VOTING AGAINST SANDY RELIEF FUNDING

HARVEY VICTIM PUTS CNN IN THEIR PLACE ON LIVE TV

TRUMP OWNS REPORTERS UPSET ABOUT ARPAIO PARDON

MARK DICE: CNN’S HURRICANE HARVEY INSANITY OFF THE CHARTS CRAZY!

DEM REP: TRUMP IS ‘TOTALLY, TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL’ AND ATTACKS THE PRESS LIKE IN ‘NAZI GERMANY’

DEMOCRAT SENATOR: WE CAN’T IMPEACH TRUMP FOR FULFILLING CAMPAIGN PROMISES, HE WON THE ELECTION

THE LEFT WANTS CIVIL WAR 2.0

FAR-LEFT VIOLENCE GROWING OUT OF CONTROL

— MORE ATTACKS FROM THE LEFT —

TEXAS YOUNG DEMS TAKE TIME TO PROTEST AND ATTACK TRUMP, WHILE TRUMP AND OTHERS HELP THE FLOODED

PROFESSOR SAYS TEXANS ‘DESERVE’ HARVEY BECAUSE THEY VOTED FOR TRUMP, GETS FIRED

 TRUMP-HATERS GLEEFULLY SHARE PHOTO OF OBAMA HELPING HURRICANE VICTIMS IN TEXAS, UNTIL THEY REALIZE … 

JOURNALISTS FOCUSED ON IMPORTANT THINGS AS TRUMP HEADS TO TEXAS: HOW DARE MELANIA WEAR STILETTOS?

—TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE —

HURRICANE HARVEY Q&A: THE GOVERNMENT OR THE FREE MARKETS?

—TONIGHT’S FAKE NEWS FUN FROM THE ONION —

 

TEXANS BRACE FOR PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE TO HURRICANE

HOUSTON—Battening down the hatches as the potentially disastrous situation unfolded, Texans braced themselves Friday for President Trump’s response to Hurricane Harvey. “I don’t know how bad it’s going to be, but I’m preparing for the worst,” said resident Jacob Hoyt, echoing the sentiments of millions of residents along the state’s coast who were hunkering down for what many predict will be a catastrophically inept relief effort. “This won’t be easy. If nothing else, I’m hoping it’ll be over with pretty quick.” At press time, frightened Texans had learned that Trump’s response in the aftermath would likely be worse than even the most dire forecasts.

 TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE

— TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE BABYLON BEE —

JOEL OSTEEN SAILS LUXURY YACHT THROUGH FLOODED HOUSTON TO PASS OUT COPIES OF ‘YOUR BEST LIFE NOW’

HOUSTON, TX—Although Joel Osteen took flak over the weekend for closing up his church to flood victims and all but disappearing during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the megachurch pastor reportedly returned to the city on his luxury yacht “S.S. Blessed” to make amends Tuesday by tossing copies of Your Best Life Now to stranded flood survivors. (MORE)

 TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM BABYLON, CLICK HERE

— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —

MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS

The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 223. There Are Now Only 1,161 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.