— Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda —
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 06, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— TONIGHT’S REALLY BIG NEWS STORY —
Back on April 12, 2015, when The Blower said our plan to win the 2016 Elections should be correcting all of Obama’s mistakes, we also said the next eighteen months might well be the most important period in American History, during a non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media, as Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press would continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
The Blower predicted news coverage would continue to be biased, and above all Dishonest, with the same depth you see on all those inane Twitters and Entertainment Tonight shows to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
Echo Chamber: MSM Calls Trump “Cruel” For Ending DACA
Brit Hume: Trump Doesn’t Really Want To Rescind DACA
Campaigning For President In 2020, Delusional Ohio Governor John Kasich Tells “Dreamers” In Jeopardy To “Come To Ohio”
— HURRICANE IRMA UPDATE—
FAKE NEWS CNN’s Hurricane Insanity Goes Full Libtard!
— HURRICANE HARVEY UPDATE —
Northern Kentucky Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders if the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce really tweeted that Thomas Massie was a piece of shit just because the Conservative Congressman would not vote for today’s $7.85 billion pork-free disaster relief bill which recklessly increased the national debt because it contained no spending offsets?
— TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM BIG HAIRY NEWS —
Cher Offers To Share Her Home With ‘Dreamers’
LOS ANGELES, California (World News Bureau) – In response to the Trump administration’s repeal of DACA, Cher took to social media on Tuesday imploring Americans to offer their homes as places of refuge to “dreamers,” saying she will do the same.
Sources say this move is nothing new for the octogenarian entertainer, citing Cher’s history of coercing illegal immigrants to move into her home, although few stay for long.
“Every time there’s a story about an illegal immigrant, she offers them ‘refuge.’ After a few weeks, they take off broke, exhausted, and more often than not, nursing a serious STD – but her home is always immaculately clean, and her yard is absolutely perfect. Trust me, Cher loves Trump.”
TO SEE MORE FROM BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
—TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE —
Trump’s Lack Of Empathy Followed By Outright Cruelty
On the heels of Donald Trump’s lack of empathy – a new trait recently discovered in the bowels of the media echo chamber – come these disturbing revelations of his outright cruelty towards the victims of Hurricane Harvey. They were collected by Mark Dice, who was later joined by other media researchers.
I’m sure our vigilant comrades will spot more outrageous behavior on the part of this president and post them here.
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE BABYLON BEE —
Millions Of U.S. Citizens Deported As Native Americans Rescind 300-Year-Old DREAM Act
Americans will be asked to pack up and move back to the various parts of the world they came from after a 90-day grace period, according to reports.
“Frankly, we should have done this sooner,” a spokesperson for the band of natives said. “The deaths of Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, the Trail of Tears—all these atrocities and more just show how dangerous illegal immigrants can be.”
“Sure, it may be just a few bad apples, but we can’t take any chances,” he added.
At publishing time, Native American tribes had begun erecting a large wall on all sides of the United States in order to keep “undesirable” European immigrants from sneaking across the border.
TO SEE MORE BABYLON BEE STORIES, CLICK HERE
— NOW HERE’S TONIGHT’S FAKE NEWS FUN FROM THE ONION —
Palm Tree In Hurricane Irma’s Path Ready To Bend Real Good For Cameras
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
The divide between the left and right is widening in America. Instead of rational debate, we’re seeing more vitriol and trench digging. The mainstream media and the left want President Trump impeached. Their bogus ‘Russia’ narrative has unravelled, so now they’re calling Trump’s supporters ‘Nazis’ or ‘white supremacists.’ This is nothing but hysteria and completely ludicrous, but I’ve experienced similar attacks for years. I’m a libertarian cartoonist, but many on the left seem to think that makes me a ‘Nazi.’ No—we libertarians despise socialism in any form! (MORE)
MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Wednesday Is Day Number 231. There Are Now Only 1,153 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.
