Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 7, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
—Tonight’s Top Trump Tweet —
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE
— Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —
Monday’s Bengals-Steelers Crowd Was Smallest In Two Decades
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
Sen. Franken Expected To Resign For Health Reasons
Sources say Al Franken (RTRD-Minn) will announce his retirement from the Senate, but not for reasons connected with allegations that he improperly groped a number of women.
Insiders claim Franken will divulge he is suffering from a disease popularly known as ‘Sharpton’s Disease’ – a degenerative condition that causes the head to swell in size while the body shrinks, causing a ‘bobblehead’ effect. Among other things, the illness leads to diminished intellectual and moral clarity.
“Not only does he look really weird, he’s suffering and needs rest,” said one colleague.
TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
Evangelicals Abandon Trump In Droves After He Says McDonald’s Is Better Than Chick-Fil-A
TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
Al Franken: ‘I’m Deeply Sorry For My Hilarious Actions’
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— Tonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Political Posters —
— HERE’S HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 323. There Are Now Only 1,061 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.
