SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2017
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says September 17 is Constitution Day, but like he explained on Friday, we’re supposed to celebrate it tomorrow on Monday, because in the wake of the Devolution of America during the past eight years of the Obama Administration, we now live in a time when understanding the U.S. Constitution—its rights, and its limitations on the government—seems more important than ever, and many Americans fall well short of even basic knowledge of that all-important document.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD was supposed to go to disgraced ex-Vice President Joe Biden for “No ordinary American cares about his Constitutional Rights.” Except that he didn’t.
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s: “The federal government has taken too much tax money from the people, too much authority from the states, and too much liberty with the Constitution. ”
And OBAMA said “I will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defent the Constitution of the United States,” and we all know he never meant that.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Crooked Hillary is back with a new book, “What Happened,” to further explain why Donald Trump is president instead of her. But most voters still don’t buy her excuses and think it’s time for her to step off the national stage. The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone and online survey finds that just 30% of Likely U.S. Voters believe Clinton still has a future in public life. Sixty-one percent (61%) say it’s time for her to retire, up from 55% just after she lost the presidential election to Trump last November.
MORE PUTRID POETRY: It’s almost time for our Autumnal Equinox, and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Autumn Amour
Fall is here
Girls cover up
Now there’s more to take off
Before boys can start to shtup!
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “KRAUTFEST” our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about why only in the Blue Chip City could Oktoberfest take place in the middle of September and nobody ask why. This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on September 18, 1985.
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says this week most of our late-night comedians were back at their Trump bashing.
JIMMY FALLON SAID: This morning President Trump tweeted that his border wall is going to be built out of old fences. Which explains why today, millions of Americans walked out of their homes and said, “Where the hell’s my fence?”
CONAN O’BRIEN said: President Trump was very busy all night tweeting about Hillary Clinton. And as a result, Melania Trump spent this morning thanking Hillary Clinton.
JAMES CORDEN SAID: DemocRAT leaders Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi had dinner with Donald Trump and they said that they struck a deal regarding immigration and border security that might not even include the wall Trump keeps promising. Yeah, at the dinner Pelosi and Schumer had the chicken, while Trump ate his words.
JIMMY KIMMEL said: The president and his wife were in Florida today to look at the damage caused by Hurricane Irma. Trump cares very deeply about the state of Florida. Almost every weekend since he was sworn in, he has personally flown to Florida to make sure there were no hurricanes there. Sometimes he even carries a golf club to fend them off.
SETH MEYERS Said: Sen. Ted Cruz yesterday responded to the reaction to his Twitter account “liking” a pornographic tweet, and said that “people ought to be able to do what they want in their own bedrooms.” Although after hearing about Ted Cruz watching porn, nobody feels like doing anything in their bedrooms anymore.
AND STEVEN COLBERT wasn’t on this week, but everybody’s waiting to hear his Trump Bashing at tonight’s Emmy Awards.
OBVIOUSLY, WE’RE STILL HEARING TOO MUCH LEFT-WING HATE SPEECH COMING FROM OUR SO-CALLED LATE NIGHT COMEDIANS
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER was enjoying the latest story from Investigative Reporter Jim McNair (who used to be at the Kentucky Center for Investigative Reporting and is now turning over rocks at CityBeat). McNair was complaining that public officials don’t have to include any of the good stuff in their so-called “Financial Disclosure Forms.” For example, Hamilton County Recorder Norbert Nadel doesn’t have to say how much the county paid him for “representation of indigent mental health patients” in 2016 after his retirement as a Common Pleas Court judge. County Treasurer Robert Goering can duck questions about his pay as a busy bankruptcy lawyer. County Prosecutor Joe Deters doesn’t have to say how much he made moonlighting for the suspended lawyer Eric Deters or businessman Charlie Shor. And Cincinnati Mayor John Cranley doesn’t have to specify the income he says he derives from his Jo De Company.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #268 is to ask a liberal, “If God really cares about cruelty to animals, how come he made foie gras taste so delicious?”
JOHN GALT says, “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says investors drove stocks to a positive finish on Friday, with the Dow Jones industrials and S&P 500 seizing new high ground, and the Nasdaq Composite closing just a fraction below record territory. A subway terror attack in London and a North Korean missile fired over Japan stirred uncertainty early in the session, but proved unable to phase market optimism in the final week before the Federal Open Market Committee’s highly anticipated meeting starting Tuesday.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, and Cincinnati USA says there are always lots of FREE things to do in Cincinnati. Unfortunately, to take advantage of those FREE events, you’ll have to come to Cincinnati.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, And Planned To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap, and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Google still shows Tracy Winkler’s picture as the “Hamilton County Clerk of Courts.” Probably because one of Aflack’s patronage employees isn’t doing his job,” Kane explained.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio Governor Alfred E. Kasich, still living his Wet Dream as a candidate for President, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (SEPTEMBER 18) The Blower will featuring our “Negative Advertsing” E-dition, while we’re continuing to count down the 50 days till the 2017 Elections.
TUESDAY (SEPTEMBER 19) we’ll see if President Trump keeps up his UN Bashing like he did during the campaign during his big UN Speech and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be sure to give you their evaluation.
WEDNESDAY (SEPTEMBER 20) The Blower will be celebrating Jewish New Year and we’ll be wishing everybody a Happy 5778.
THURSDAY (SEPTEMBER 21) we’ll be getting ready to celebrate the “Autumnal Equinox” on Friday at 4:02 PM, hoping we’ll be able to make it sound really dirty.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (SEPTEMBER 22) Limerick is “When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year.”
AND SATURDAY (SEPTEMBER 23) Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall will be telling us if those Bungals losers will even bother to show up in Green Bay on Sunday.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO
A Great GOP Presidential Campaign Speech Bears Repeating, So Tonight We Have An Encore Presentation of
The Last GOP Presidential Campaign Speech You’ll Ever Need to Hear
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