WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2021
TRUMP’S THREE-HUNDRED-AND-EIGHTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR SPOILED SPORTS SPIELER ANDY FURBALL WONDERS IF ANYBODY REMEMBERS THE LAST TIME THE #4 BEARCATS PLAYED THE #2 BUCKEYES
NEARLY THIRTY-ONE YEARS AGO TODAY…
Edition #26 (published on November 27, 1990) of the original printed edition of The Whistleblower (not the Newswire) was delivered to Persons of Consequence all over town. It was our “Official Earthquake Update” Edition, and our REALLY BIG STORY was the Earthquake Prediction Center’s prediction that Greater Cincinnati would be destroyed on December 3. Our TOP TEN LIST listed the top ten reasons you shouldn’t worry about the City’s being destroyed on December 3. Also on the front page, we see the announcement that The Whistleblower would be publishing Earthquake Updates every ten minutes on Earthquake Day, December 3.
PAGE TWO featured REAL EDITORIALS (NOT BY CURRENT PUBLISHER CHARLES FOSTER KANE) (The Agony of Defeat commented on letters to the Enquirer about Republicans Ken Blackwell’s and Mike Maloney’s losing races. GOP Party Boss Ralph Kohnen’s Karma was suffering, and dissident Republicans James Condit and James Condit, Jr. were claiming emotional distress for being called deranged by the Mt. Washington Press. There was also word that a new publisher for the Whistleblower would be chosen soon. REAL FACTS explained how the ship of fools would be sailing again at the Cincinnati Club. Nick Vehr said he was tired of being called “Designated Dork” on Cincinnati City Council, and Norbert Bleek was our Seediest Kid of All.
PAGE THREE featured CHEAP SHOTS taken at Dwight Tillery, Roxanne Qualls, Robert Newman, and Ohio Secretary of State Sherrod Brown. Bunky Tadwell was complaining about rip-offs in ANOTHER GUEST EDITORIAL.
PAGE FOUR featured the REAL LETTERS FROM REAL SUBSCRIBERS, and during all those years, not a single one of those people has ever called to complain that their letter might not have been real. ANOTHER EXCLUSIVE WHISTLEBLOWER REPORT told how to use the “Black Loop of Death” to attack an enemy’s fax machine. Dan Quayle also told us how to understand U.S. Foreign Policy. Maybe that’s why the former Vice President was reported seen going up to see Donald Trump recently.
PAGE FIVE featured Bluegrass Holler by Ken Camboo, explaining how Northern Kentucky was getting ready for “The Big One.” J.R. HATFIELD shared his post-Thanksgiving Day Thoughts, and Marilyn Harris offered leftover squid tips in her “Leftovers Are My Life” column.
And PAGE SIX included SPOILED SPORTS By Andy Furman, where Andy showed us his hair was starting to grow in after he had to shave it off for losing a bet that the Reds would lose the World Series. There was sort of an apology for reversing the pictures of brothers Don and Tom Mooney in a recent edition, and over at Channel 5, Jerry Springer and Norma Rashid were explaining how much fun it would be to have group sex during an earthquake.
It was really a lot of fun publishing The Whistleblower way back in 1990.
That’s why we say “Those were the good old days.”
You can download that entire edition HERE.