SUNDAY, JUNE 3, 2018
More Politics Unusual

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says he’s sure the rest of the local news media forgot to cover the big Confederate Memorial Day Parade in Northern Kentucky today. Confederate Memorial Day is officially celebrated in Kentucky on June 3, because Confederate President Jefferson Davis was born on that date in 1808 in Fairview, Kentucky. For those of you who don’t know where Fairview is, it’s near Hopkinsville, wherever in the hell that is.Why aren’t we having a big three day weekend when everybody gets a paid holiday tomorrow? Maybe it’s because the South lost!

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN said  our Kneepad Liberals in the Press will surely be celebrating the anniversary of tomorrow’s date in 1920. That’s when Congress passed the 19th Amendment guaranteeing women the right to vote. The women’s suffrage movement turned out to be a real success, but it’s the men who’ve been suffering ever since.

MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Bobby Leach’s “Down home, we like to see a woman put up on a pedestal, just high enough to see up her Dress.”

Speaking of “Quotes,” we’re watching the Media’s Double Standard after Roseanne got her fat ass fired for making a joke about Valerie Jarrett, when the right-leaning comedienne sent out a little tweet suggesting Obama’s African American co-conspirator Valerie Jarrett’s is the lovechild of the Muslim Brotherhood and the “Planet of the Apes while Trump-Hater Samatha Bee still has her job after she called President Trump’s daughter Ivanka a “FECKLESS CUNT.”  The Blower says all of this started when they guaranteed women the right to vote?

WITH THE SWIMMING SEASON NOW UPON US, WE’RE JUMPING RIGHT IN WITH ANOTHER ODIOUS ODE FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for the sweltering summer, we found this passionate poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Summer Sex Scandals,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves. 

                       Hot Weather Warmup
                         It’s time to grab your bathing suit
                      To have a refreshing swim
                      And check and see if all the girls
                      Have got their bikini trim.

IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED TITLED “AFTER GREEN, BLUE IS OUR FAVORITE COLOR,” every politician was reminded of the fact that June 8, 2008 was the date Hamilton County officially turned forever “Blue,” and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were talking about how such a thing could’ve happened.  This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.

OUR MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says our Clermont Crony is wondering: With Oversight Committee Chairman Trey Gowdy facing such a Big Backlash from Conservatives after the South Carolina Congressman praised the FBI for spying on the Trump campaign, how many Conservatives are taking GOP Chairman David Ubile up on his offer to refund the cost of tickets for their 2016 Trey Gowdy Lincoln Day Dinner. 

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says following record levels of confidence in the job market, Americans are more optimistic than ever about the ability to get a job, work hard and succeed in America today. A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone and online survey finds that 68% of American Adults now think it is possible for anyone who really wants to work to find a job. This finding has been in the low-60s since late 2014 and hit a previous high of 63% last July. Prior to 2014, this number ranged from 29% to 54%. Just 24% now say it is not possible for anyone who really wants to work to find a job, also a new low. 

SAVE OUR REDSKINS MEMBERS have learned that the Forest Hills School Board President stated that “he will be the only one to answer emails.” So they’re going to try something new – emailing every board member except the Board President – with the following question:
“If the majority of our community wants to keep the “Redskins” name, isn’t that enough to convince you to put this to bed? If you force the change, where will this money come from? What will NOT get done in order to fund this unnecessary change?”

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THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.

                   SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.   

LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #162, Reclaim the language for conservatism: Instead of “Mainstream Media (MSM),” talk about the OLM— “Old Left Media.”

JOHN GALT says “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says what trade war? According to CNN Money/Invest, It was a scary week on the trade war front, but you wouldn’t know that from the chill response on Wall Street. The market barely flinched last week even as President Trump threatened global trade peace like no American president in modern history.

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands  still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others.  Avaricious Andersonians were surprised not to see a long line on cars waiting to get into Krispy Kreme Friday on National Doughnut Day. Maybe they weren’t giving away free doughnuts. 

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.

FINALLY AT TONIGHT’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the Whistleblower Subscriber who’ll have a front-row seat at the Trumpster’s Summit in Singapore. Our guy’s name was in the news. Aren’t you surprised our Feckless Fishwrappers didn’t have the story?

 “With almost three decades of service to our country, it is not surprising our readers and subscribers are at the center of some of the world’s most important debates and discussions,” Kane explained. “That’s why we say only… Persons of Consequence need apply for a subscription.”

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

MONDAY (JUNE 4) we’ll be featuring our Conservative Civics Lesson in our Current “Constitutional Crisis” E-dition.

TUESDAY (JUNE 5)  we’ll be remembering D-Day in case our non-combatants at The Fishwrap forget, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be really patriotic.

WEDNESDAY (JUNE 6), we’ll be remembering D-Day in case our non-combatants at The Fishwrap forget, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be really patriotic.

THURSDAY (JUNE 7)  we’ll be getting ready for our Annual Bluing of Hamilton County E-dition.

THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JUNE 8) LIMERICK IS “On June 6 We Celebrate D-Day,” which will already have happened.

AND SATURDAY (JUNE 9) is our annual “Walk Naked In Anderson Day” beginning a 1PM EDT, so ladies shouldn’t complain about not having anything to wear.

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

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