Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
FRIDAY, MARCH 2, 2018
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— Tonight’s Top Whistleblower News Story —
Are Disingenuous DemocRATS really exploiting Parkland shooting survivor Sara Imam to fundraise for the DemocRAT National Committee (DNC)?
The Daily Caller says in a letter, which the DNC blasted out via email on Friday, Marjory Stoneman Douglas senior Sara Imam appears to have cited her classmate’s deaths as reason to support DemocRATS in the 2018 midterm elections. “If you’re with me and other Stoneman 
Douglas survivors, add your name to commit to vote this fall — it’s the only way we’ll do something about gun violence in our country,” Imam purportedly writes, urging people to “Help elect DemocRATS who will take action on gun violence.”
D-RATS have repeatedly sought to turn last month’s tragic shooting, which left 17 people dead, into a political advantage. DNC chair Tom Perez sent out a fundraising email the day after the shooting, trying to turn grief into political donations. (RELATED: DNC Fundraises Off Florida Shooting) Now, the DNC is directly using the students’ names and stories for their fundraising efforts, which have lagged well behind the pace set by the Republican National Committee.
—Tonight’s Top Trump Tweet —
— QUOTE OF THE DAY —Jeff Sessions: “No Department Is Perfect”
— TONIGHT’S MEDIA MOMENT —
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE
— Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —
— Tonight’s Whistleblower Faking News —
“All The News That’s Fit To Leak”
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM OTHER SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
(Commenting On Today’s Top Stories)
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE IRONIC TIMES, CLICK HERE
Oscars Gift Bag A Progressive Treasure Trove
LOS ANGELES (Big Hairy News) – This year’s Academy Awards nominees will receive an exotic variety of gifts tailored to today’s progressive left-wing celebrities. Included in the gifts, valued at over $250K, are:
- Five VIP abortions at Planned Parenthood
- 10-day luxury stay at North Korea’s Ryugyong Hotel (when/if completed)
- A lifetime supply of Anal Lube
- Two years free use of an illegal immigrant
- Leather bound, hand-signed collectors edition of “Rules For Radicals” by Saul Alinsky
- Complimentary OT I – V level Thetan cleansing from Church Of Scientology
- Solid gold jewel-encrusted meditation wand
- Public kneeling at the location of your choice with Colin Kaepernick
- Four free breast augmentations at The Beauty Factory
- 30-day luxury stay at Cuba’s Iberostar Varadero Hotel with personal visit by Raul Castro
- VIP participation for two in Satanic High Mass at LA’s Church of Satan
- Hot oil massage by Harvey Weinstein (subject to availability)
- Complimentary transgender surgery with deluxe genitals
- 2000 hours of psychotherapy
TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
Facebook Sets CNN Washing Machine To ‘Full Semi-Automatic’
MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
Trump Quickly Blames Market Plunge On Obama
TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
Jared Kushner Forced To Follow Along With Ivanka’s Classified Documents During Meetings
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— Tonight’s Top Whistleblower Political Posters —
— HERE’S HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 406. There Are Now Only 976 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.
