— Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda —
TUESDAY, AUGUST 22, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— Tonight’s Big Story — 
Trump Gives Charlottesville Timeline And Slams Media At Phoenix Rally
Police And AntiFa Protesters Clash After Trump Rally
— NOW HERE’S TONIGHT’S FAKE NEWS FUN FROM THE ONION —
Trump Struck By Beautiful Vision Of What America Could Be While Looking Out Over Seething, Screaming Arizona Crowd
PHOENIX—Visibly moved by the outpouring of rancor before of him, President Trump was reportedly struck by the beautiful vision of what America could be while looking out over a seething, screaming Arizona rally on Tuesday. “As I gaze upon the snarls on your red faces today, I’m filled with hope at what astonishing hostility the America of tomorrow can achieve,” said the president, swelling with optimism at the inspiring scene of thousands of Americans gathering to act on their basest instincts. “I’m simply overcome by the bitterness and resentment filling this convention center. Just imagine if everyone in the nation—every single man and every single woman—could let their anger and intolerance consume them the way it has the good people in this room. What a wonderful country this would be.” Trump went on to say that while progress would not always be easy, the uncontainable rage of crowds like this one made him feel like America was well on its way.
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE BABYLON BEE —
Organization That Murders 200,000 People Of Color Each Year Takes Stand Against Racism
U.S.—Planned Parenthood, the American abortion provider that mercilessly takes the lives of approximately 200,000 innocent people of color every year, took to social media earlier this week to condemn racism in the wake of civil unrest in Charlottesville, VA.
“Planned Parenthood stands with people of color and allies in the face of such appalling attacks fueled by hate,” said the update posted to the Facebook and Twitter pages of the organization which overwhelmingly targets minority communities with its facilities and abortion services, resulting in unborn babies of color being aborted at a rate multiple times higher than that of white babies.
At publishing time, Planned Parenthood continued to speak out against racism in America, all while perpetuating their ruthless business plan which ensures that a disproportionately high number of abortions it commits are against people of color.
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 216. There Are Now Only 1,168 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.
