MONDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2017

         At this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda following our debriefing by a member of Trump’s Transition Team, Political Insiders applauded Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane for downgrading our Feckless Fishwrappers from “Fake News” to “Very Fake News” and somebody asked if The Blower would be interested in publishing some of the better letters Conservatives didn’t e-mail to the Fishwrappers because they knew they’d never be published.

Take this letter from Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin, for example:

To Mr Bhatia, et. al. —
RE:  Cincinnati Enquirer Editorial 2/20/17:  “We can – and must – improve transparency”

Your last paragraph today reads, “Whatever our individual circumstances, we [in the media] need to move forward and remind our communities of the vital and important work we do. None of the above is rocket science or hasn’t been thought of before. But being more transparent is an important tool in winning back any lost credibility.”

To borrow from and paraphrase a couple of lines from the character named “Gold Hat” in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre…

Transparency!? 

We readers don’t need no stinkin’ transparency!

What we want is OBJECTIVITY!

— Stu Mahlin, Cincinnati, Hyde Park