WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2017

But You Weren’t the Only One Who Forgot

Remember when you went to grade school and you used to come on Valentine’s Day with a big bag full of Valentine’s from all of your little classmates? Remember how good you felt? Maybe that’s why we’re feeling a little low this morning, because we still can’t stop thinking about all those people who didn’t send us a Valentine this year.

DISGRACED EX-PRESIDENT OBAMA, who’s busy organizing a Shadow Government Coup Against Trump, didn’t send us a Valentine.

DISGRACED EX-TRUMP NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR MICHAEL FLYNN, who says “I’m sorry about getting caught lying, but you should’ve known it would happen because I’m a DemocRAT, didn’t send us a Valentine.       

OBAMA SUPPORTERS IN THE LIBERAL PROPAGANDA MEDIA, who are still too busy colluding with Disingenuous DemocRATS, didn’t send us a Valentine.

DUMBED-DOWN, SELF-ABSORBED, MEDIA-INFLUENCED, CELEBRITY-OBSESSED, POLITICALLY-CORRECT, UNINFORMED, SHORT-ATTENTION-SPAN, FREE-STUFF GRABBING, LOW-INFORMATION OBAMA SUPPORTERS WHO PUT THE POSITIVELY WORST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY IN THE WHITE HOUSE—TWICE, AND FAILED TRYING TO GIVE OBAMA A THIRD TERM BY VOTING FOR HILLARY, AND ARE NOW CLAIMING TRUMP ISN’T THEIR PRESIDENT, BECAUSE THEY GET ALL OF THEIR INFORMATION FROM THE LOCAL LIBERAL PROPAGANDA MEDIA, LIKE THE ONES AT THE FISHWRAP AND ON CHANNEL 5, 9, 12, AND 19 who were still waiting for jobs and more free stuff, didn’t send us a Valentine.

SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL, who can’t wait for Pocahontas Warren to say something stupid so he can tell her to shut the fuck up again, didn’t send us a Valentine.

OHIO TREASURER JOSH MANDELL (Running For US Senator), who’s proposing criminal penalties for Sanctuary City pushers, didn’t send us a Valentine.

SENATOR ROB “FIGHTING FOR FAGELLAS” PORTMAN, who’s still waiting for Ohio’s Delusional Republican Governor to kick off his 2020 Presidential Campaign, didn’t send us a Valentine.

OHIO TEA PARTY GUY TOM ZAWISTOWSKI, who’s too busy telling the Ohio Republican Congressional Delegation to Restore Regular Order, Stop the BAT Tax, Pass Tax Cuts, and Use the CRA, didn’t send us a Valentine.  

OHIO FIRST DISTRICT CONGRESSMAN STEVE CHABOTHEAD, who can’t stop talking about Cincinnati’s recent really stupid decision to become a “sanctuary city,” didn’t send us a Valentine.

OHIO SECOND DISTRICT CONGRESSMAN “BRONZE STAR BRAD” WENSTRUP, who was just awarded the National Association of State Approving Agencies (NASAA) Lifetime Leadership Award (whatever the hell that means, didn’t send us a Valentine.

KENTUCKY FOURTH DISTRICT CONGRESSMAN THOMAS MASSIE, who just introduced H.R. 899, a bill to abolish the federal Department of Education, didn’t send us a Valentine.

“TAXKILLER TOM” BRINKMAN, whose name doesn’t appear in the papers nearly so often these days, didn’t send us a Valentine. 

BUCKWHEAT BLACKWELL, who along with Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Charles Foster Kane is once again a finalist for this year’s Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards during Black History Month, didn’t send us a Valentine.

DILDO WORLD FOUNDER PATTY BRISBEN, whose 60%-off sale on all “Business Starter kits” ends on February 28, didn’t send us a Valentine. 

MICKEY ESPOSITO, who said his dance card was full for last night’s light’s out festivities in prison, didn’t send us a Valentine.

FRANK WEIKEL, who said it was only 74 degrees at 6:00 PM this evening in Punta Gorda, Florida, didn’t send us a Valentine.

REVERED FORMER CONGRESSMAN BOB MCEWEN, who said it was 75 degrees at 6:00 PM in Naples, Florida, didn’t send a Valentine. 

FORMER WLW HATE RADIO TRASH TALKER DARYLL PARKS, who is still sorry after dumbed-down voters in Anderson passed that Forrest Gump School Tax Hike Scam when he paid his jacked-up property taxes earlier last month, didn’t send us a Valentine.

HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY BOSS ALEX T., MALL COP GOP, who can hardly wait for people to hear about his candidates for Cincinnati Mayor and Clown-cil, didn’t send us a Valentine.

DIMINITUTIVE DEMOCRAT CINCINNATI MAYOR JOHN CRANLEY, who says he can hardly wait until March 15 for this year’s Backstabbers Day Celebration, didn’t send us a Valentine.

ANDERSON TRUSTEE PRESIDENT ANDY PAPPAS, who’s really busy these days listening to residents bitch about the lack of parking Towne Center to find us a Hardee’s restaurant, didn’t send us a Valentine.

LOONEY LIBERTARIAN JIM BERNS, who hasn’t decided which race political race to lose this year, didn’t send us a Valentine.      

CONVICTED DITZY DEMOCRAT JUVENILE JUDGE TRACIE HUNTER, who’s waiting to hear if the Ohio Supreme Court will be sending her to the slammer, didn’t send us a Valentine.

REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES, which used to be more active than they are at the moment), didn’t send us a Valentine.

LIZ ROGERS OF MAHOGANY ON THE BANKS FAME, who says please don’t ask when she’s going to pay the city all that money she still owes, didn’t send us a Valentine.

MEAN JEAN” SCHMIDT, who used the same “I’m just quoting someone else” technique to criticize a fellow Member in 2005 which Massachusetts DemocRAT Senator Elizabeth Warren employed earlier this week to criticize since-confirmed Donald Trump Attorney General nominee Jeff Sessions, didn’t send us a Valentine.

WHISTLEBLOWER ALTERNATIVE LIFE-STYLE CONTRIBUTORS BEN DOVER AD PHIL MCKREVIS, who were too busy enjoying their naughty candy hearts on Valentine’s Day, didn’t send us a Valentine.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN, who says on this date in 1898, a massive explosion of unknown origin sunk the battleship USS Maine in Cuba’s Havana harbor, killing 260 of the fewer than 400 American crew members aboard and an official U.S. government inquiry has still not affixed the blame, didn’t send us a Valentine.

QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE, who chose Henny Youngman’s “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it,” didn’t send us a Valentine.

TEA PARTY PATRIOTS, who say the Left’s attempt to create a ‘Resistance’ modeled on the their organization will have the opposite effect, didn’t send us a Valentine.

DISGRACED FORMER MASTURBATING ANDERSON TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE KEVIN O’BRIEN, who is still gloating about his revenge managing the campaign of the Dishonest Disguised Obama Liberal DemocRAT who ambushed long-time Anderson Township Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson by telling a lot of lies and successfully convinced a big bunch of dumbed-down voters that she was truly “non-partisan,” didn’t send us a Valentine.

ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS, who still manages to get his name in The Fishwrap, even though he’s been suspended from practicing law in both Ohio and Kentucky,  didn’t send us a Valentine.

HAMILTON COUNTY DEMO-LABOR PARTY BOSS TIM BURKA, who still says that time years ago when he investigated Hamilton County Republican Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters’ 2012 voting address was “not political,” didn’t send us a Valentine. 

OUR GOOD FRIEND KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS, whose “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court” is bursting at the seams with ugly mugs depicting the usual druggies, thugs, thieves, and scum bags, didn’t send us a Valentine.

NORTHERN KENTUCKY DEMOCRAT DOMINATRIX KATHY GROOB, who says please don’t remind people about the time she called Trump’s Transportation Secretary a chink, didn’t send us a Valentine.

BOBBY LEACH, reminding us that there are still a little more than four more weeks to wait for BB&BJ Day, didn’t send us a Valentine.

CONSERVATIVE BLUEGRASS SENATOR RAND PAUL, who walked out of an ObamaCare meeting with Speaker Ryan over Medicaid expansion and the lack of progress to repeal ObamaCare, didn’t send us a Valentine.

BELOVED WHISTLEBLOWER PUBLISHER CHARLES FOSTER KANE’S FELLOW SURVIVORS OF THE ANDERSON HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 1956, planning their 70-year reunion in 2026, didn’t send a Valentine.

BUNKY TADWELL, who’s still too busy watching the skies for Killer Drones over Cleves, didn’t send us a Valentine.

FINALLY, PRESIDENT TRUMP, who said he was happy we could join him for dinner at the Winter White House in Mar-A-Lago, Florida last weekend, actually did send us a Valentine. 

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially people who didn’t send us a Valentine!

SORRY I FORGOT VALENTINE’S DAY HOT LINE

e-mail your most abject apologies today.

 Some really remorseful items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really remorseful subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.

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