THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2017
Defining Dumbness Down
At this afternoon’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the latest change to The Blower’s definition of “Stupid Voters.”

“It’s still evolving,” Kane explained. “In 2008, we started out with Dumb Voters Who Put Obama in the White House, and every day since then proved just how right we were. 

“Then we figured out those Stupid Voters hadn’t been ‘Born Dumb.’ They must’ve been ‘Dumbed-Down’ by the Liberal Education Establishment, so it became ‘Dumbed-Down Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House.’

“Then we spoke to some of those Stupid Voters who’d voted for all that ‘Hope and Change’ crap, and we saw how very into themselves they really were, so it became ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House.’

“Then we saw how often those Stupid Voters got all excited every time some Moonbat Movie Star or Pop Culture Icon said something
outrageous on TV, and it became ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House.’

“At some point we must’ve noticed how ‘Political Correctness’ was destroying America, and it became ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Politically Correct Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House.’

“During Whistleblower Focus Groups before the 2012 Election, it became apparent how Uninformed these Stupid Voters really were, so it became ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Politically Correct, Uninformed Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House.’

“Watching all those Negative Attack Ads Disingenuous DemocRAT kept spewing out, we learned about DemocRAT Voters’ Short-Attention Spans, and it grew to ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Politically Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House.’

“That Stupid Black Woman in Ohio telling us she voted for Obama because of a free cell phone convinced us to make it ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Politically Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House.’

“Stupid Voters who told Pollsters they thought Obama was doing a good job before the 2012 Elections was reason to make it ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Politically Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing Low-Information Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House.’

“On Election Night, it became ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Politically Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing Low-Information Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House—Twice.’

“And when we saw that Gay Darkie Reporter from Roanoke, Virginia who wore an Obama button on Election Night murder his colleagues on live TV in an attempt to start a Race War in America the way Obama had been promoting during his Summer of Racial Violence, we realized just how on target we were to say Stupid Voters were ‘Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Politically Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing Low-Information Supporters Who Put Obama in the White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.”

During Obama’s Second Term, our Divider-in-Chief became “The Positively Worst President in History,” so we began calling Obama Supporters “Dumbed-Down, Self Absorbed, Celebrity-Obsessed Politically Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing Low-Information Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History in the White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.”

And when The Blower began publishing our “Disingenuous DemocRAT Talking Points Memos” which show how your Local TV Stations Get Their Liberal Bias National News Stories, our Stupid Voter Definition became “Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.”

Before the 2016 Election, we added Hillary’s name to our “Stupid Voter Definition,” so it’s became “Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.”

And at 2:31 am ET on November 9 when the Associated Press declared Donald Trump President-Elect, The Blower officially changed “and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary,” to “and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary.”

 

Today, just to be totally precise, The Blower updated “and get all of their information from” to “and get all of their ‘fake news’ from,” so The Blower’s “Stupid Voter Definition” will now officially read: Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19… at least until we update it again.