SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2017
Happy Birthday to the Old Rail-Splitter

Hurley the Historian says today is Lincoln’s real birthday, and to celebrate that occasion in 1999, the DemocRAT Controlled U.S. Senate voted to acquit Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton on his impeachment charges of perjury and obstruction of justice.

In Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo was sure none of our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press would remember any of this when our Peyronie’s President campaigned in Cincinnati for Hillary’s equally foolish attempt to campaign for president.

Today our Quote for Today Committee’s selection by Abraham Lincoln should come as no surprise: “You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.” Back then, however, Honest Abe could’ve never imagined today’s Republicans in Congress, who always appeared ready, willing, and able to cave in to Obama every chance they got.

In 2017, what will make this Lincoln’s Birthday all the more historic would be having people find out that Sore Loser Obama’s PACs have been bussing agitators to all those Republican town hall events across the country. Obama and the Obstructionist DemocRATS Game Plan is to continue to disrupt Republicans from getting things done, while Obama Supporters in the Press keep on attempting to spin favorable comparisons of Obama and Hillary while wondering aloud when their likenesses will be added to Mount Rushmore.

Maybe that’s why Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says this weekend Trump Supporters all over America are in the midst of a Great Battle, testing whether this nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.

And still unable to figure out any of this are all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President In History In The White House—Twice, And Failed Trying To Give Obama A Third Term By Voting For Hillary, And Are Now Claiming Trump Isn’t Their President, Because They Get All Of Their Information From the Local Liberal Propaganda Media, Like The Ones At The Fishwrap And On Channel 5, 9, 12, And 19.

Now, Because A Good Joke Bears Repeating

One night President Obama is woken up from his sleep by the ghost of George Washington. Figuring that it is a great opportunity to learn from the father of our country, Obama asks him for advice on how he can best serve his fellow Americans.

“Be honorable and honest, as I was,” Washington tells Obama.

The next night President Obama is woken up by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. Obama asks him for advice on how he can best serve his fellow Americans.

“Cut taxes and reduce the size of government, as I did,” Jefferson tells Obama.

The next night President Obama is woken up by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Obama asks him for advice on how he can best serve his fellow Americans. “Take the night off and go to the theater.”