TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2015
It’s Déjà vu All Over Again
For the past several years, Charles Foster Kane had voted early by mail, but this year, our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher was glad he’d decided to save the 69-cents first-class postage so he could see how the fine folks at the Hamilton County Board of Elections had fixed all those mechanical problems Kneepad Liberals were whining about during the previous election. This year, the Competent Caucasian at the sign-in table knew what he was doing, unlike Sharisha and Lequetia at the next table. They chattered away the whole time Kane was inside the polling place, and you could really save a lot of time if you didn’t bother blackening in the rectangles next to the names of all those candidates running unopposed.
Last year, Kane said they should’ve moved his polling place from the church basement to the neighborhood nursing home. It would’ve smelled the same and the people who work at the polls wouldn’t have had so far to go. Usually, Republican poll workers gave out stickers Republican voters that said “I VOTED” and DemocRAT poll workers handed out stickers to the DemocRAT voters that said “I VOTED TWICE.” But last year on that first Tuesday in November, Precinct G in Anderson had run out of “I Voted” stickers. Precinct H didn’t even get any to begin with. They must have been expecting a really low turnout. Or maybe Hamilton County Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP was in charge of the planning. This year, we didn’t see a sticker in the whole place.
This year, everybody was trying to see how many Cruz and Rubio supporters were actually voting for Ohio Governor John Kasich in his effort to stop Donald Trump.
And on the Ides of March, Award-Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception showed us what might happen at the Republican Convention, if Kasich doesn’t get out of the race.
So what will the outcome be tonight of Ohio’s Republican Primary Election. You’ll know how that race turned out when you see which headline The Blower chooses for tomorrow’s Official “Ohio Election Results” E-dition: “Trump Wins” or “Fraud at the Polls.”
