FRIDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2015

To Ask Dumbed-Down Voters For Their Opinions

          Earlier this week, Channel 9 “Substantially True” News reported about Cincinnati City Mangler “Baltimore Harry” Black’s efforts to find the City’s next Affirmative Action Police Chief to replace the last Affirmative Action Police Chief he recently fired.

 Baltimore Harry says that decision represents a “great deal symbolically” for the city, which is why Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley is letting as many people as possible offer their suggestions, to diffuse the blame when the next Affirmative Action Police Chief also fails. 

So now they’re sending in the Survey Monkey to assist City Leaders recruit and select their next Affirmative Action Police Chief.

First the Survey Monkey wants to know what qualities and characteristics you think are most important in the City’s Police Chief.

Then the Survey Monkey wants to know what type of experience and/or accomplishments you would like the new Affirmative Action Police Chief to have in his/her professional history.

Next you need to tell the Survey Monkey what issues you would advise the next Affirmative Action Police Chief to focus on during his or her first year on the job.

Then you have to tell the Survey Monkey what ways you expect the next Affirmative Action Police Chief to engage with community members in order to maintain confidence and trust.

The Survey Monkey also wants to know what specific ways would you like the next Affirmative Action Police Chief to improve the well-being of the Cincinnati Police Department.

And if that’s doesn’t show how much City Leaders value your opinions, the Survey Monkey also provides you with a little box so you can include anything else you would like to add.

So now after all those thousands of people fill out their surveys by November 1, the Survey Monkey can compile all their responses and tell Mayor Cranley and “Baltimore Harry” how to choose their next Affirmative Action Police Chief.  That way, when the next Affirmative Action Police Chief fails, our City Leaders will have found somebody new to blame, this time they’ll be able to blame the Survey Monkey. And maybe while they’re at it, our Survey Monkey could administer “Baltimore Harry’s” overdue Performance Review.