WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2015

Here Are Those Three Ohio Ballot Issues Most People Don’t Truly Understand

Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says this morning in Ohio, while everybody’s waiting to see how Ohio Governor John Kasich does in tonight’s Third Republican Presidential Debate in Boulder, Colorado, it might be a good time to see what some members of the Conservative Agenda are saying about that terrible troika of statewide ballot issues Conservative voters will be casting their ballots against in only six more days.

Citizens for Community Values SpokesGuy Charlie Hassle tells us why his Conservative Organization is against Ohio’s Ballot Top Three Ballot Issues.

ISSUE 1: REDISTRICTING (Creates a bipartisan redistricting commission to draw state legislative districts) 

This hair brained issue was developed and designed by the League of Women Vipers to take away control from elected officials who are the people’s representatives, and place that control in the hands of appointed and pointy headed Liberals who would be guaranteed at least two seats on the new apportionment board and potentially four which would give them control permanently. Additionally the constitutional language of compact districts, is absolutely meaningless.

By replacing four statewide elected officials with a combination of three statewide and four appointees, the appointees can dutifully overcome the will of the people’s representatives without any backlash on the elected officials – in other words, be careful what you ask for, you may get it.

ISSUE 2: DIRECT DEMOCRACY (Prohibits initiatives that would create market monopolies) 

This brainchild of Bill “The Ethnic Cleanser” Seitz is a half-cocked idea to limit all future activity of citizens but not the legislature, from coming forward with new plans to institutionalize cronyism or create monopolies through the use of the Ohio Constitution and votes of the people. The legislature will still be able to initiate constitutional monopolies, but the People will be precluded from participating.  This means that the folks who brought you Issue 3 would have to bribe a majority of the legislature rather than hire signature takers out front of Kroger to pester Mr. & Mrs. Buckeye. Oh yeah, and all the money can just go to state rep-tiles and senators campaign coffers.

ISSUE 3: MARIJUANA (Legalizes recreational marijuana) 

This limited stakeholder program will allow for 10 monopolies to control the multi-billion dollar marijuana industry in Ohio, all the while increasing drug prevalence in communities, schools, jobs, and roads near you.

On the plus side, anyone over 21 will be able to grow their four plants for personal use.  Mind you, four plants is not enough to reproduce so they will always die out and citizens will need to keep purchasing more from the monopoly farms.  That would be another source of revenue.  Plants, seeds, and edibles…those highly dosed candy and snacks that can put a horse down – since there are no rules or restrictions on dosage!  Could be why Colorado has seen such an uptick in marijuana overdoses, something unheard of among dube smokers. 

Ohio TEA Party Guy Tom Zawistowski invites Conservative Buckeyes to listen to his “TEA Party Talk” podcast to find out why his organization is against Ohio’s Ballot Top Three Ballot Issues.  

Meanwhile, Buckeye Fans, Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball says Urban Meyer and Undefeated Ohio State Buckeyes have a bye this weekend, or else they’d be favored by at least a gazillion points over whatever football team they’d be playing.