SATURDAY, AUGUST 29, 2015

Pigging Out in Porkopolis

         Look at all the local places to go off your diet, cram in the carbs, and come that much closer to a heart attack or just a stroke this weekend. And just to make it too easy for you, down at the Liberal Agenda Fishwrap, Rasputin Todd, rtodd@cincinnati.com  (if you can believe that’s his real name) has a long list for you.

First off, in Wyoming (the City, not the State) there’s a Beer Wine and Food Festival (5 p.m.-midnight Friday, 3 p.m.-midnight Saturday).

There was a Volunteer Firemen’s Festival benefitting the Cedar Grove Volunteer Fire Department at the Cedar Grove Firehouse in Cedar Grove, wherever the hell that is (5 p.m.-midnight. Friday night) featuring a fish dinner, grand raffle, refreshments, music, basket booth, kids games.

There was a Taste of Blue Ash at Blue Ash Summit Park (6-9 p.m. Friday (Music by .38 Special), 2-11 p.m. Saturday (Music by Third Eye Blind), 2-9 p.m. Sunday (Music by Thompson Square), with various types of cuisine from more than 20 local restaurants, entertainment, rides and family fun area. (No admission charge)

The Germania Society of Cincinnati held a really early Oktoberfest in Colerain Township (6 p.m.-midnight Friday, 2 p.m.-midnight Saturday, noon-10 p.m. Sunday, Germania Society of Cincinnati, 3529 W. Kemper Road, Colerain Township. Wine, schnapps and more than 60 taps of beer. Homemade German foods, including sauerbraten, Oktoberfest chicken, pastries, pretzels, brats, metts, potato salad, coleslaw, cream puffs and sauerkraut balls. The event featured entertainment for all ages, games of skill and gambling. (Cost-$4, 12 and under are free, with free admission for active and retired military personnel with current military ID.)

The Taste of Over-the-Rhine is being held in Washington Park downtown (11 a.m.-11 p.m. Saturday) for people waiting for the Stupid Streetcar. The event is free, but (a VIP Experience costs $60, with select food and drink tastings from OTR and area restaurants benefitting Tender Mercies.

The Incline District Street Fair benefiting Holy Family Parish in East Price Hill was held 11 a.m.-6 p.m. on Saturday, featuring a Tomato Fight at 4 p.m.), showcasing the multicultural richness of Price Hill with local artisan vendors, food trucks, music and craft beer.

The Raise the Heights Art Parade and Festival was held Saturday (11 a.m.-5 p.m.) at the Kennedy Heights Cultural Campus. Professional artists and community members participate in parade. Festival includes entertainment including popular Zak Morgan and other activities for families.

The Rhythm and Brews Festival benefitting the West Chester/Liberty Boys and Girls Club is being held Saturday (1-11 p.m.)  at The Square at Union Centre in West Chester with food trucks, craft beer, music by Noah Smith, Three Day Rule, and Fourth Day Echo.

Overlooked in The Fishwrappers’ complete listing was the Avoirdupois Andersonians Food Festival, featuring Drive Thru visits to every Fast Food Restaurant along the James W. Miller IV Memorial Highway and Beechmont Avenue, featuring free desserts at Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and Johnny’s Creamy Whip and Car Wash, with coupons available from Anderson Township Trustee Andy Pappas on Friday afternoon at his Cleaner Concept establishment next to Krispy Kreme.

Just think of all those calories. Not to worry, Fat Asses! The digital scale in the men’s locker room at Lyons Y in Anderson was a mere 25 pound light this afternoon, and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane is already on his way.