WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19, 2015
And We’re Still Waiting For All That New Development
Earlier this year (May 2, to be exact) The Blower published the following column featuring those sleazy 1980s characters at the satirical Patronage County Courthouse to illustrate how things were going on hereabouts these days, so our Persons of Consequence might gain yet another useful perspective on the news.
“Racino Riff Raff” By James Jay Schifrin
After seeing all that great free publicity Anderson Township Trustees got for themselves last year at the opening of Belterra’s “Racino” in Anderson Township, our three publicity starved Commissioners from Patronage County have been discussing on the ride home how soon they could get one of those Money Making Gambling Emporiums for themselves.
“What a great event that was,” said Commissioner Pilfer. “Think of all those people to shake hands with. I bet those trustees all wished they’d been asked to make a speech.”
“It’s also too bad none of them was up for re-election this year,” said Commissioner Filch. “but with all those little people putting pictures of themselves with celebrities like us on their Facebook pages, we could recycle them endlessly to show how much they support us.”
“The only thing wrong was the kind of people who showed up,” suggested people Commissioner Swindle. “You know how gambling attracts unsavory characters and creates major social problems.”
“What do you mean?” asked Commissioner Pilfer. “The demographic for a ‘Racino’ is 57-year-old white widows losing their dead husbands’ insurance money playing on crappy video slot machines.”
“You mean they didn’t have many whores?” asked Commissioner Filch.
“Only a few skanks on Opening Night,” explained Commissioner Swindle. “The others were probably still working at the Horseshoe Casino downtown.”
This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
The Blower recalls covering the grand-opening of that little $300 million Belterra Park Gaming and Entertainment Center next to historic Coney Island Amusement Park, bringing 1,500 games, a longer race track, six new restaurants, and a parking garage, along with 700 jobs and boatloads of unsavory people to the area.
Maybe that’s why nobody at The Blower was really surprised to learn the cost of police and fire department services for the Anderson Racino had township officials worried. Did Anderson Township think only angels go to casinos? Or were they expecting just van loads of senior citizens? Why isn’t Anderson billing the insurance companies for the victims for emergency runs to Belterra? How many runs did they have when it was called River Downs, which had a much rougher clientele?
And didn’t the Anderson Township Officials pee in their pants when they were predicting all the development that would surely happen “near the casino?” Only The Grove restaurant has opened where the nasty and (that is putting it mildly) RJ’s Roadhouse and flop house was located on Kellogg.
More Revolting Developments Later!
