SUNDAY, AUGUST 16, 2015

This Week’s Top Stories

OUR NUMBER ONE VILE-AND-DISGUSTING STORY THIS WEEK was when Feckless Fishwrapper Keith BieryGolick either “forgot” or was he told not to include the political party of Batesville Mayor Richard Fledderman who was arrested for forcing an Extremely Ugly Male Prostitute with HIV to give him a blow job. And what were the chances that pervert politician turned out to be a Degenerate DemocRAT? Coincidence? We think not!  

OUR NUMBER TWO VILE-AND-DISGUSTING STORY THIS WEEK was when Bryce “Rhymes With Twice” McKey was named Public Enemy Number One on the Local Kneepad Liberals’ Most Wanted List after the former Xavier University assistant women’s basketball coach was accused of “sexually abusing” an XU player for touching the girl’s buttocks on not one, but two separate occasions without her written permission.

AND OUR NUMBER THREE VILE-AND-DISGUSTING STORY THIS WEEK was when The Blower spiked a story about that group of breastfeeding mothers on the lawn in front of the WCPO building on Gilbert Avenue protesting a story that censored a photo of a nursing baby, because if the sight of all those “Nursing Mothers” wasn’t sickening enough, pictures of “Nursing Mothers With Tattoos” really made us nauseous.

       Let’s face it, Breastfeeding, like urination, defecation, menstruation, and masturbation, is a natural bodily function. That doesn’t mean anyone wants to see it! Note to the tie-dyed hippies — if your kid is old enough to speak and stand, has teeth and eats human food — he’s too old to be sucking mommy’s teat!! If these crazy “liberal” bitches succeed, expect to see men wanking in public next. Disgraced former Anderson Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien can hardly wait.

Edward Cropper’s World

Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us IS BRIT HUME LOOSING IT OVER THE DONALD?, ROSIE O’DONNELL WANTS TO WIPE PERIOD BLOOD ON PEOPLE’S FACES TO FIGHT TRUMP’S “WAR ON WOMEN,” and HILLARY SNEERS AT REPUBLICANS: ‘IT’S NOT ABOUT BENGHAZI… IT’S NOT ABOUT EMAILS.”   

You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.

This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda

Saturday, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all the reasons Republicans are coming up with to vote for Donald Trump these days. “Here’s one I don’t think anybody’s mentioned,” Kane explained. “This woman would be our first lady.”

OBVIOUSLY, EACH CANDIDATE NEEDS TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE HIS MESSAGE UNDERSTOOD BY THE GREATEST NUMBER OF PEOPLE.

The Blower believes the next 450 days will be the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.

 But as The Blower predicted, news coverage will continue to be Biased and Dishonest to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, and watching Boehner and McConnell these days is enough to make some Real Republicans say “Screw it,” and become Libertarians, as if that would do anybody any good. 

Meanwhile, some other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.

This Week’s Stupid Liberal Award

On Saturday night’s “Justice,” Judge Jeanine Pirro said the facts in Hillary Clinton’s email scandal point to her being guilty. Judge Jeanine asked why Clinton wiped her server clean before handing it over to investigators. Judge Jeanine also wondered if Clinton delayed that process so she could get rid of all of the evidence. “If you did, it’s called obstruction and tampering. And, by the way, I don’t know what took the FBI so long to try to get it,” Judge Jeanine said. “But, Hillary, if that server has been scrubbed so clean that even FBI experts cannot reconstruct your emails, that tells me you did everything you possibly could to prevent anyone from knowing what you were doing while you were our secretary of state.”

“My verdict, based on the evidence, is guilty.”

Whistleblower War on Political Correctness

             Wednesday in The Blower’s “It Was Only a Joke” E-dition, Political Insiders at that day’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if any of The Blower’s parodies had ever backfired because somebody had actually taken one of our little jokes seriously. “Yesterday was the first time,” Kane confessed, “and we’re still trying to figure it out.”

Our writers were trying to think of something else for The Fishwrap to promote and we came up with #BlackTicketsMatter, a bogus Liberal Fake Outrage Group for a downtrodden minority that had been formed right here in Cincinnati to protest the racist practice of police giving traffic tickets to Black motorists and pedestrians in Black neighborhoods just because they’re breaking the law.

We even gave the fictitious group an official chant: “#BlackTicketsMatter; Hands Up, Don’t Shoot; We Can’t Breath; Kill Whitey; No Justice, No Peace.”

Imagine our embarrassment when we started getting all those e-mails telling us some people had actually taken us seriously, and were acting out our little Scenario in Stupidity. It wasn’t hard to believe our Feckless Fishwrappers would fall for our little scam and start whining about the number tickets being given to Black motorists and pedestrians in Black neighborhoods just because they’re breaking the law. 

 Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.

Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “Q. Why did President Obama get two terms? A: Because every black man gets a longer sentence.”

Angry Andersonians

Our Snitch at the latest Forrest Gump School Board meeting (that included the developers, the financiers, school district reps and board members, Vicky Earhardt from the trustees, but no one from the park board) wrote us a lot of juicy stuff about the hell a mess our unopposed School Board Candidates Randy Smith and Jim Frooman, along with their willing accomplices had gotten themselves into.

Two minutes later we got another e-mail saying, “Hit the send key by mistake. Help me out with this.  Don’t print any of that stuff.”

Damn, The Blower really hates when that happens.

 In Northern Kentucky

Rand Paul’s Presidential Campaign Hangs In The Balance

In Wednesday’s “Bluegrass Battles E-dition, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo asked when The Blower was finished using the Counter at the lower right-hand corner of the Web Page for the Black Family Reunion at Sawyer Point on Saturday, if we might not let him have it to count down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until August 22, when the Kentucky GOP Central Committee will vote on whether to change their May primary to a March caucus, because that would be a critical moment for Kentucky Senator Rand Paul and his wet dream aspirations for the White House, and whatever his backup plan might be.

The problem is, if Kentucky’s Primary Election would be held in May, Rand Paul’s name would appear on the ballot twice—once in the Presidential Primary and also in his race for re-election to the U.S. Senate. Moving the date of Kentucky’s Primary Election to a March Caucus wouldn’t exactly allow Paul’s name to appear on the ballot twice — which would be illegal in Kentucky — but it would delay the question, which would be a problem if Rand Paul would become the Republican nominee. Right now that doesn’t seem likely to happen, since has two chances to be the Republican Party’s nominee in 2016— Slim and None, and Slim just left town.

 The Feck Stops Here

Down at the Liberal Agenda Fishwrap, Metro Mole says their dwindling readership might be agreeing less and less with their idiotorial board these days, because they’re seeing more letters to the editor like the two on Friday “DuBose rap sheet story slanted and incomplete” from Al Whitson in Sharonville and “Enquirer, other media fanning a racist fire” from Jeffrey Limerick in West Harrison.

In Sunday’s Forum section, Stephen R. Kramer in Green Township said “In July 19 stop, only DuBose had criminal intent,” and Ralph Lowenstein said “Enquirer’s video request only morbid curiosity.”

Amazing, we don’t currently recognize any of these astute gentlemen as Persons of Consequence on The Blower’s exclusive e-mail list, but should any of them wish to apply, we probably would have no trouble making room for them.

Meanwhile, our Feckless Fishwrappers are continuing to promoting all their other favorite Liberal Causes.

Those other causes include supporting Public Breast-feeders, Trans-Racists Who Want To Call Themselves Black, Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.

But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say:  It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”

 More of our Weekend Wrap Up Later