SUNDAY, AUGUST 16, 2015
Tennis, Anyone?
The annual Western & Southern Open Tennis Matches at the Lindner Family Tennis Center just got underway, and all of our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press are already in full-hype. It must still be early, because none of the newly announced columnists promising to surprise and delight, dig and question at the Liberal Agenda Fishwrap has yet complained about the lack of “diversity” of the Caucasian Tennis Watchers attending the matches.
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says although Cincinnati Reds fans have been waiting for next year for months, and The Bungals haven’t blow it yet, but all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, CELEBRITY-OBSESSED, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, seem to like watching overpaid professional tennis players rake in the loot, mostly because they’re all “Celebrities.”
Scared Soreheads in the Suburbs feel safe attending the annual Western & Southern Open Tennis Matches in Mason, Ohio, because it’s not like attending a Reds game in downtown Cincinnati where Current Cincinnati Affirmative Action Black Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell’s 90-Day Violence Reduction is not quite up to speed yet, and Cautious Caucasians are still worried about being a victims of a “Hate Crime” attack, like the one that left a White man beaten and bloody on the Fourth of July.
Last year, Hamilton County Prosecutor “Jaywalking Joe” Deters (Seen Sitting in John Barrett’s Box on ESPN) said there was no racial tension in the Great White North at the Western Southern Tennis Matches except when Serena Williams won. Maybe The Old “JayWalker” remembered 2011, once again the antics of Serena Williams came thru when she took her player’s money and bought a wedding present for that big California wedding. Serena withdrew prior to her second match due to a so-called “toe injury,” but was spotted dancing at Kim Kardashian’s wedding that Saturday night along with her sister Venus.
Hamilton County RINO Part Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP is already all a-Twitter, and Pretentious Whistleblower Hyde Park Tennis Bum Hoy Palloy can hardly wait to start posting stupid selfies of himself and as many of the rich people and tennis players as he can corner. Ollie Ogler has front row seats. Bryce “Rhymes With Twice” McKey might like to pat some of the pretty tennis ladies on the buttocks as they walk by, and breastfeeding moms might like to hold a protest at center court like did this week on the lawn in front of the WCPO building on Gilbert Avenue.
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Political Pundit Dick Morris’ observation explaining that in the aftermath of the first presidential debate among the numerous Republican candidates, the various contests that will determine who are the main contenders for the nomination are beginning to take shape. Just as no battle plan ever survives the first engagement, no amount of punditry can ever predict the permutations and ripples that flow from the first debate.
Morris says, “Nominating contests are akin to the Wimbledon tennis tournament, with quarterfinals, semifinals and the final. The Republican Party is composed of a layer cake of different constituencies. So to nominate a candidate, each of these diverse groups holds, in effect, its own quarterfinal to decide on its favored candidate. Then the top two fight it out in the semifinals to go on to the finals held in November.” It sounds like the “old toe-sucker” is picking up on The Blower’s tournament brackets idea.
Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka regrets the fact that scandal plagued DemocRAT Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton isn’t scheduled to be in Cincinnati until September 10, but maybe if John Barrett invites her in for a fund-raiser at his Western & Southern Open Tennis Matches this week, Burka’s sure Hillary would be glad to change her plans, unless of course she’s indicted in the meantime.
