Tuesday, June 30, 2015       

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers   

I cannot tell you how proud I am of my daughter for getting her picture on the front page of Monday’s Fishwrap, getting arrested as part of a Liberal Whacko Publicity Stunt by illegally removing a Confederate Flag from the South Carolina statehouse grounds Saturday morning. —Clarence Newsome, President of the Over-Taxed Sucker Funded Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center

Just like when I married those Lovely Lesbians on Fountain Square. — Cincinnati’s Scruffy Mayor John Cranley, Who Even Shaved For the Occasion to Avoid Being Called a “Beard”

Newsome also got yesterday’s award for insulting our intelligence by comparing his publicity-seeking daughter to Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and Martin Luther King, Jr. —The Whistleblower’s Daily Liberal Liar Award Committee 

Wouldn’t it be a lot easier for The Blower if it now changed our Official Whistleblower Nickname to “The Liberal Agenda Fishwrap?” —Metro Mole

Whatever you want to call them, they’re still doing everything the can to get me into the Hall of Fame. —Pete Rose 

We refused to bake a cake decorated with a Confederate Flag, but an ISIS Flag is A-OK. —Walmart

You can’t believe how badly we’re wussing out on the Confederate Flag issue. —2016 RINO Presidential Candidates

Did you see where our “Wimpy Not-Ready-for-the-2016-Presidential-Campaign Governor John Kasich said, “The Court has ruled on Same Sex Sodomy, so it’s time to move on?” —Award Willing Photo Illustrator Artis Conception

 

Mental health awareness, prevention, and intervention might’ve also prevented Cincinnati Police Officer Sonny Kim’s murder. —That Anonymous Juvenile Judge Who Failed to Follow the Sentencing Guidelines in the Trepierre Hummons Case

My new Violence Reduction Program is really working great. We only had two Black-on-Black Homicides Sunday night. —Cincinnati’s Current Affirmative Action Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell

I’ve been snubbed. —Dumbfounded DemocRAT Cincinnati City Clown-cilman/U.S. Senate Candidate P.G. Sitt-in-Spin

After reading about FBI and Homeland Security Warnings of possible Terrorist Attacks on July Fourth in The Blower’s “Muslims in America” E-dition, Murdering Muslims will also not be permitted to march in our Holy Homophobic islamophobic Heterosexual Fourth of July Patriotic Procession in Anderson. —White, God-Fearing Hetero Citizens of Anderson

We’re already standing in line for the Opening of Andy Pappas’ new Krispy Kreme store this morning. — Avoirdupois Andersonians

Why should be worry about SCOTUScare, Retention Elections, or Impeachment with Republican Leaders like Boehner and McConnell? —The Totally Political Liberal Supreme Court of the United States 

We began fund-raising off the SCOTUS decision in less than thirty seconds after the decision was announced. —The Disingenuous DemocRAT Senate Campaign Committee
I’d been bought off long before Friday when I joined Obama’s Mile High Club on Air Force One. —John Boehner

And just think, last week I got to misjudge “Morality” for All America. —Justice Anthony Kennedy, Appointed by Ronald Reagan

Hamilton County Domestic Relations Court is still waiting to hear its first Same Sex Divorce Case. —CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street

Please don’t ask if my wife believed my explanation after I was spotted by police on June 11 coming out of the room of a suspected prostitute at the cheapo Super 8 motel on Kings Mill Road. —Mason City Clown-cilman Rich Cox

You didn’t really expect Republican Boondoggle County Clerk Kenny Brown to continue to refuse Same Sex Wedding Licenses after he was attacked in The Liberal Agenda Fishwrap, did you? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

On this date in 1980, left-wing lunatics found a new way to hammer Conservatives when CNN began broadcasting. How far has CNN fallen? Last year they even tried to re-brand themselves for younger viewers when they brought back “Crossfire,” with Newt Gingrich and some Obama Bimbo. But The Blower says it was never be worth watching because it didn’t hold a candle to the “Point-Counterpoint” sketch on Saturday Night Live. —Hurley the Historian

That’s why we chose Dan Dan Aykroyd calling Jane Curtin an “Ignorant Slut.” —Your Quote for Today Committee

Are they really banning Confederate Flags in Northern Kentucky on the Fourth of July? —Trish the Dish, WXIX-TV 

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

The Blower makes fun of phony patriotism to show pandering politicians are not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t the most embarrassing elected official in Southwestern Ohio history (including Jerry Springer).

 This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Portman’s Protégé. So it’s not our fault!

    JULY FOURTH FLAG ETIQUETTE HOT LINE

E-mail your rules and regulations today.

 Some flag-waving items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally flag-waving subscribers.

 Whistleblower Video of the Day

Fireworks in the ‘Hood

Sent in By Our Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston [2,501 Friends, 8 Mutual Friends, including Sheriff Jim Neil and Joe Wessels.)

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here