Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Liberal Alert: The Conservative Supreme Court could strike down a key provision of ObamaCare any day. This makes it a perfect time to sign our meaningless petition and send us more money, too. —DemocRAT National Committee
Conservative Alert: The Liberal Supreme Court could rule in favor of Sodomy Rites any day. This means you should sign our meaningless petition and send us more money. —Citizens For Community Values President Phil Burr-ass
We’re still waiting to hear if Cincinnati Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback was able to get Caitlyn Jenner to be grand marshal at Cincinnati’s Gay Pride Parade this weekend. —Whistleblower Alternate-Life-styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
On this date in 1973, President Richard Nixon’s advisor, H.R. Haldeman, told the president to put pressure on the head of the FBI to “stay the hell out of this [Watergate burglary investigation] business” and Nixon’s legacy was assured, just like Obama’s and his trusty Attorney General Eric Holder’s, who by the way, is looking more like John Mitchell every day. —Hurley the Historian
Did Richard Nixon really say, “When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal,” or was that Bill Clinton or Obama? —Your Quote for Today Committee
Is Political Correctness great or what? Even when it kept people from reporting the Charleston Shooter’s plans to authorities. —Liberal Loonies
Actually, it was Obama’s white half that said “Nigger” during that podcast last weekend. —Obama’s White House Propaganda Spokesman Josh Earnest
How’d you like the way we spun that horrific murder in Charleston into a politically correct fight over the Confederate Flag? —Obama Supporters in the Press
Was our political agenda showing when we offended slain Cincinnati Police Officer Kim’s family by giving all that good publicity to the police officer’s murderer’s family on our front page? —Feckless Fishwrappers
Would The Blower please tell all those Black Lawbreakers out there they can “Call me if they needs me?” —Attorney Clyde Bennett II, Doing His Best Leslie Isaiah Gaines Impression
I’m betting getting caught lying again about my betting on baseball less than a month before the All Star Game in Cincinnati won’t really hurt my chances of getting into the Hall of Fame? —Pete Rose
Does the Midwest Regional Black Family Reunion need a featured speaker this year? —#Rachel RaceFaker
Do you think anybody at The Fishwrap will ever figure out the reason we’re delaying the start of Cincinnati’s Current Affirmative Action Police Chief’s “Hug-a-Thug” Program was to buy time after The Blower pointed out there were many serious flaws in the so-called plan? —Scruffy Mayor Cranley’s City Mangler “Baltimore Harry” Black
Miss me yet?—Former Fishwrapper KimBall Perry
Yesterday was the last day to pay those Second Half 2014 Hamilton County Property Taxes (jacked up by our Disingenuous DemocRAT Auditor) and any taxes paid even a minute late will accrue a penalty and/or interest; and failure to receive a tax bill will not avoid such penalty and/or interest. —Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering
This year, when we paid our property taxes and we saw how much our jacked-up Forrest Gump School District Taxes were costing, we wished today we could vote to replace all those board members for agreeing to pay all that money to Disgraced Ex-Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” Jackson. —Angry Andersonians
Yesterday when all those lovely ladies with no panties were standing in line at my store, I was pleased to show each one of them my personal Cleaner Concepts. —Anderson Trustee Andy Pappas
It’s totally amazing why local RINOs actually offered me no opposition during any of my re-elections. —Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT Auditor
In this week’s address, Obama wished America’s dads a happy Father’s Day from the golf course and underscored the crucial role fathers play in our society. —White House Spokeswomen
During Obama’s Devolution of America, Obama trying to teach young black men how to be good fathers would be like OJ Simpson trying to tell you how to be a good husband. —Deadbeat Dads
What’s the definition of “mass confusion?” Father’s Day in the hood! —Over-the-Rhine Council
Father’s Day was Sunday, A time that was truly his. But the trouble with the kids today, Is that they don’t know who “he” is. —Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves
In Kentucky, isn’t Father’s Day the same as Uncle’s Day? —Uncle Clem CamBoo
On Father’s Day, it’s always a great time to be invited to a big picnic. —Weight Gainers Members Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich
On Father’s Day, it’s a great time for your children to buy you a drink. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
On Father’s Day, one of my children gave me a Mobile Phone GPS Tracking system. —Horny in Hebron
On Father’s Day, do you think I should tell people I’m a father too? —Goof Doofus
On Father’s Day, I always remember all those times my dad caught me in the bathroom. —Eldon Pudpuller
On Father’s Day, Eggs Benedict wasn’t the only thing I didn’t get at home. —Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson
On Father’s Day, I got a card that said “Thanks for not pulling out.” —Bobby Leach
On Father’s Day, it’s a good time to spend time with your families. —Cheaters in Northern Kentucky
On Father’s Day, it’s just another day for The Fishwrap to get scooped by The Whistleblower. —Amanda Vanda
Where was all that damn Goettafest coverage you promised? —Mainstrasse Merchants
When did you say Confederate Father’s Day was? —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially PC Politicians following Mitt Romney’s lead by now calling for the removal of the Confederate Flag from the state capitol grounds in South Carolina.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower ridicules absentee fathers to show that abandoning your children is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Deadbeat Dad.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially absent Black fathers.
DEADBEAT DADS HOT LINE
e-mail your employment information today.
Some proud paterfamilias items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally proud paterfamilias subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
McDonald’s is Now Hiring Deadbeat Dads!
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Duffy “Watching the Ladies With No Pantiesin Line at Cleaner Concepts” Beischel,[Friends 317 Friends, 41 Mutual including Anderson Trustee Andy Pappas and “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
