SUNDAY, JUNE 7, 2015
Your Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (JUNE 1), in our Special “D-Word Update” E-dition, The Blower said, “No wonder all the other letters are jealous!,” and in our “Marginalization in America” E-dition, The Blower said “It’s All Part of the Culture of the Offended.”
TUESDAY (JUNE 2), in our Special “More DemocRAT D-Words” E-dition, The Blower said, “Did we forget to mention “Deserter?” and in our Special “Violence Reduction Plan” E-dition, The Blower said, “Just In Time For Obama’s Long Hot Summer!”
WEDNESDAY (JUNE 3), in Special “Confederate Memorial Day in Kentucky” E-dition, The Blower said, “Why isn’t today a national holiday? Because the South lost!” and in our Another “Conservative Cartoonery” E-dition, The Blower said, “We’re Putting the Right Slant on the News!”
THURSDAY (JUNE 4), in our Special “Same Time Last Year” E-dition, The Blower said, “Those Were the Good Old Days!” and in our Special “Slow News Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “With all that Twittering about the Trivial!”
FRIDAY (JUNE 5) in our Special “Tabloid Teasers” E-dition, The Blower said, “We’re Featuring Today’s Three Stories,” and in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”
SATURDAY (JUNE 6) in our Special “Patriotic D-Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s always D-Day for DemocRATS: “Denial, Deceit, and Deception” and in our Special “Weekend Waiting” E-dition, The Blower said, “Looking Forward To A Really Big Day On Monday!”
You Can’t Say You Aren’t Getting Your Money’s Worth!
This Week’s Top Three Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE LOCAL VIOLENCE-REDUCTION STORY THIS WEEK was when The Fishwrap ran Monday’s big story about Cincinnati City Manager Harry Black’s ordering Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell to come up with a 90-day “Violence Reduction Plan” by Friday, Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us what that announcement might look like, as the Cincinnati Police Department Chorus sings “Hail to the Chief,” our Snitches and Bitches in the Cincinnati Police Department, Fraternal Order of Police, and at Cincinnati City Hall have been sending us information, The Blower began counting down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until Blackwell’s “Violence Reduction Plan” was due to be turned in, and Pete Rose’s Bookie started taking bets on the outcome.
OUR NUMBER TWO LOCAL VIOLENCE-REDUCTION STORY THIS WEEK was when The Fishwrap reported the Sentinels, a group of black Cincinnati police officers, unanimously issued a vote of confidence in Black Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell Wednesday night. And a group of clergy, politicians (including Black Clown-cil Members Yvette Simpson and Wendell Young and Black State Senator Cecil Thomas), and other Black community leaders would also like a $50 million slush fund, which Yvette admitted not having a clue where all that money would come from unless they stick up a bunch of rich white folks again.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE LOCAL VIOLENCE-REDUCTION STORY THIS WEEK was on Fiday when Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley’s City Mangler “Baltimore Harry” Black extended the deadline for Cincinnati Affirmative Action Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell to turn in his Dumbed-Down “90-Day Violence Reduction Plan” for Obama’s Long Hot Racially Divided Summer. At least Pete Rose’s Bookie didn’t have to pay off any big bets from Phill Black and the rest of Chief Blackwell’s unanimous Sentinels supporters who played long shots and wagered Blackwell’s plan would be turned in by the City Manager’s original deadline, and The Blower says all of this reminds us of the way the City administered Liz Rogers’ repayment schedule.
Friday’s Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said should be included in Cincinnati Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell’s Long-Awaited “90 Day Violence Reduction Day”:
(A) A Listening Tour to gain input from Community: 2%
(B) Arming the Police: 1%
(C) A “No-Beheading Zone” in Over-the-Rhine: 1%
(D) Some idea about what to do on the 91st Day: 96%
Edward Cropper’s World
Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us with a pig package of baloney telling us “I’ve Restored the US as the ‘Most Respected Country in the World.”
You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
D-Day is always a very important day for Conservatives, and Obama Failed To Recognize D-Day on Saturday, not even with his traditional picture of himself. So The Blower was wondering: what would’ve happened if—God forbid—Obama had been president at the time.
The 2016 Elections will not only be about correcting ALL of Obama’s mistakes and attempting to secure fair reporting from the Liberal news media, but it will also be making sure Republicans get the leadership they vote for. That means the next 520 days will be the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
But as The Blower predicted, news coverage will continue to be Biased and Dishonest to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, and watching Boehner and McConnell these days is enough to make some Real Republicans say “Screw it,” and become Libertarians, as if that would do any good.
Meanwhile, other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards:
Local Beheading Alert
A Pleasant Ridge Black Man was arrested Wednesday afternoon, several weeks after police said he shoved a female jogger into oncoming traffic, brandished a knife in the “No Beheading Zone” and told her “he hates white people.” Weasel Zippers says, “If only Obama had a son, he might look just like Rodney Arnold.”
This Week’s Liberal Liars Award
Chief Blackwell missed this week’s Major Cities Chiefs conference in Phoenix, wisely choosing not to attend so he could listen to Mostly Black (and a few White) Liberals in the community solve the City’s Black-on-Black Violence Problem by calling for more jobs (gang-bangers don’t fill out job applications), stricter gun laws (which really works great in Chicago), later hours at the community pools and activities other than sports (because these folks can’t control their kids) to be in place by Friday, when Blackwell’s “90 Day Violence Reduction Plan” is due to be turned in to Cranley’s City Mangler Harry Black, because that’s the way they did it in Baltimore.
This week’s Liberal Liar Award winner was Black State Senator Cecil Thomas, who claimed, “This is what all cities experiencing an escalation in violence need to do. Once you have a relationship, the community can help. It gives people a buy-in.” Stop the Pandering, Cecil. We Want to Get Off!
Also, The Blower’s Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston said that $50 million those so-called community leaders were trying to extort is just a DISGUSTING attempt to SHAKE DOWN folks for BLOOD MONEY!!! Black boys have been killed. Before some can be laid in the ground, these crooked politicians, greedy preachers and “Nurse Rivers” Iris put forward a proposal to capitalize on their deaths by seeking a $50 Million slush fund.”
Whistleblower War on Political Correctness
Political Correctness in the sports world ran amuck this week when ESPN awarded Bruce Jenner a “courage award” for wearing women’s clothes in public. Many were upset that many better, heroic, individuals, were overlooked in the award process, however, in true Hollywood fashion, ESPN showed its disconnection with American viewers, by stating, that there were no other individuals even considered for the award, such as Mount St Joseph College basketball player Lauren Hill.
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.”
Protecting Our Sources
“Officer Krumpke” was named as our Guest Editor on Friday.
The Blower is using the “Krumpke alias” to protect our many Snitches and Bitches in the Cincinnati Police Department, Fraternal Order of Police, and at Cincinnati City Hall.
We repeat: “Officer Krumpke” is not the person’s real name.
The Feck Stops Here
Over at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says yesterday a letter to the editor from Columbia Tusculum resident Marcia Spaeth called that “story” concerning the remarks made by District 4 police Captain Maris Herold on May 29 just another example of light-weight, annoying, character assassinating, “gotcha” journalism (“District 4 captain’s comments rebuked”). It may have been only wishful thinking, but The Blower thinks Captain Herold’s idea of pushing all of Cincinnati’s crime into Kentucky sounds like the best idea we’ve heard so far, and our Good Friend Kenton Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders says, “No problem, my prosecutors will convict the Criminals from Cincinnati,” and Terry “The Smiling Jailer Carl” has plenty of room at the Kenton County Escape Center, including space to isolate transsexuals.
Meanwhile, our Feckless Fishwrappers will still be promoting all the Liberal Causes, as well as supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
THE LATEST RUMOR: CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says heard Kimball Perry is no longer a Feckless Fishwrapper. Maybe Skaggie Maggie’s Replacement Rick Green is actually cleaning the Augean Stables Stables.
Aroused Andersonians
Our Snitch at the Forrest Gump School District says although your property taxes are due on June 22, the increase for “Smiling Dallas” Jackson’s illegally orchestrated campaign for last year’s Humongous $103 million Tax Hike Scam won’t be showing up until December—Merry Christmas!
But in Friday’s Tabloid Teasers E-dition, The Blower warned the time was long overdue for all Forrest Gump Over-Taxed Payers to read between the lines when they pay all those increased taxes they were misled into approving last year. Somebody needs to press “STOP” and then “RESET” before this school board blows any more time and money on “Smiling Dallas” Jackson’s school-board-approved bastard building plan. Somebody needs to be in charge that is going to be around for a while, not a “temporary” superintendent. Hopefully, it will be somebody that will step up, clean up, and not cover up.
Of even more interest in Anderson, Trustee Andy Pappas says June 22 will also be “No Panty Day” at his Cleaner Concepts at 7857 Beechmont Avenue. The Blower can only imagine what message you’ll see on that controversial sign in front of the store.
In Northern Kentucky
BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO says all that Liberal News Media Propaganda about the trials and tribulations of being transsexual didn’t help Crescent Springs Bruce Jenner Wannabe Matthew “Maddie” Smith this week, when a jury didn’t believe those 72 stab wounds inflicted into Vanilla Hills Resident Eric Schreiber at a party in Independence on New Year’s Day 2014 were in “self defense.”
Female Falsifying Fishwrapper Scott Wartman incorrectly labeled “Maddie” as a “transgender woman.”
Jim Hannah correctly labeled “Maddie” as a man when “Maddie” was incited (NKY man indicted for on one murder count)
Now what will all those PC Fanatics say when this “Maddie” person is sent to a men’s prison?
At least our Good Friend Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl played it safe when he kept “Maddie” in isolation for the last 15 months at the Kenton County Escape Center.
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Kimmel’s “We have a new Republican candidate for president who also happens to be an old Republican candidate for president, former Texas Governor Rick Perry. He’s at it again, and why not? There are only so many coyotes you can shoot on your ranch. What else does he have to do?” and “The Republican presidential race has more characters than “Game of Thrones.” Jimmy Fallon said, “Today former Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he is running for president. While growing up he wanted to be a veterinarian, but his grades weren’t good enough. Luckily for us, now he wants to be in charge of people.” And Seth Meyers said, “Senator Ted Cruz said he thinks John F. Kennedy would be a Republican if he were alive today. Well, of course he would be Republican. He’d be 98 years old.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says the race for president is getting so crowded that it seems like soon there may be more of them than there are of us. The Blower was hoping for a special report from Iowa this weekend, but Hawkeye Bureau Chief Jan Mickelson was being overrun by Republicans candidates at Freshman Senator Joni Ernst’s first annual “roast and ride” fundraiser, featuring presidential hopefuls galore, bikes, and the right kind of pork for a GOP crowd.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1966, a former actor named Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. That gives Real Republicans something else to celebrate today.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose The Gipper’s “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #162, Reclaim the language for conservatism: Instead of “Mainstream Media (MSM),” talk about the OLM— “Old Left Media.”
JOHN GALT says “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”
LIBERAL NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: week, with the swimming season now upon us, we’re jumping right in with another odious ode from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves. Just in time for the sweltering summer, we found this passionate poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Summer Sex Scandals,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Hot Weather Warmup
It’s time to grab your bathing suit
To have a refreshing swim
And check and see if all the girls
Have got their bikini trim.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “AFTER GREEN, BLUE IS OUR FAVORITE COLOR,” every politician was reminded of the fact that June 8, 2008 was the date Hamilton County officially turned forever “Blue,” and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were talking about how such a thing could’ve happened. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
WHISTLEBLOWER SUMMER INTERN PROGRAM: 412 applications for Whistleblower’s Internship Program were submitted by last Friday’s deadline for the summer term. Three lucky aspiring college students were chosen— one male, one female, and one we’re not quite sure about.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says Obama’s Long Hot Summer Riot Season Has Not Even Started, you know Cincinnati Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell’s 90-day “Violence Reduction Plan” will be great, and Obama’s Attorney General Loretta Lynchmob will praise i an example for all America.
OUR CPD snitches wonder when in the hell did the Chief of Police and the Assistant Chiefs acquire “drivers?” What an obvious waste of resources. Blackwell appears to be following The Blower’s prediction: Throw a bunch of cops at the problem and expect a favorable solution. What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result!
You could put hundreds of cops in uniform, on foot patrol, bicycle patrol, skateboard patrol, motorcycle patrol, moon-walking patrol, or whatever type of patrol you choose. Without an effective, comprehensive strategy directing officer activity and one that targets the region’s most prolific, violent for enforcement activity, the “high visibility” approach is a waste of time. He’ll come up with a silly title like, all hands on deck, etc, but it’s still an exercise in futility.
We talked to several cops recently. They’re totally demoralized and lack any inspiration to move forward. The City is kidding itself if they believe they can contrive a bullshit plan that will be successful with a totally demoralized workforce. Blackwell cannot possibly recover from this catastrophe!
Think about the proposed strategy. It’s akin to this logic. You own a restaurant and want to increase your sales. Solution = take people out of the kitchen where they’re not seen, put them in the dining area where they are seen, and we’ll sell more dinners and drinks! How stupid is that?
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES reports Market Watch says the U.S. stock market finished mostly lower Friday as an so-called “upbeat jobs report” raised expectations for an interest-rate hike this fall. But the Bureau of Labor Statistics released data Friday showing that about 93,000,000 people in the U.S. did not participate in the workforce in the month of May, and the total number of involuntary part-time workers jumped to 6,652,000 in May, up from 6,580,000 in April. That doesn’t sound like a very “upbeat jobs report” to us.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, and The Blower reports just three months after hitting Japan and Cambodia to talk about “girls’ education,” Michelle will be off on another over-taxed payer funded junket, this time to Europe. Michelle’s mother, and Malia and Sasha will also be along for the trip. No word on if the cousins are coming too, as they have in the past.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane reminded about Monday’s important anniversary in Hamilton County, because seven years ago on June 8, 2008, RINOs at 700 Walnut Street proceeded past the point of no return in their masochistic “Long March” towards the “Bluing of Hamilton County” (which The Whistleblower had in fact predicted two years before that.) “Chairman Mao would’ve been proud,” Kane explained. “Obama’s landslide in November 2008 was redundant. June 8, 2008 was the date our Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP’s ‘Wandering in the Wilderness’ had officially begun.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (JUNE 8) we’ll be featuring our Annual Bluing of Hamilton County E-dition, but we’ll still be continuing to count down the 592 Days of Dishonesty for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (JUNE 9) will be will be our waiting to see what was in Cincinnati Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell’s Dumbed Down “90 Day Violence Reduction Plan” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will report the latest body count.
WEDNESDAY, (JUNE 10) we’ll be updating any new Obama scandals on our Official Obama Scandal Scorecard.
THURSDAY (JUNE 11) we’ll be checking to see if any of our Republican Presidential Candidates have as yet summoned up the courage to use the word “Impeachment.”
The first line of FRIDAY’S (JUNE 12) limerick is: “Did Chief Blackwell Have The Right Plan?”
AND SATURDAY (JUNE 13), we’ll be getting ready to celebrate Flag Day on Sunday, when we’ll be remembering all those who died to protect it.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Former Feckless Fishwrapper Kimball Perry, whose writing was always almost as out-of-focus as his Twitter picture.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Before Bruce Jenner
Sent in by our Cross Dressing Attorney from Northern Kentucky, who always said clothes make the man, and vice versa.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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