Sunday, March 2, 2013
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE INTERNATIONAL CRISIS STORY THIS WEEK was when tensions continued to rise in Ukraine, after months of public protests led last week to the downfall of President Viktor Yanukovych’s government. Obama’s White House SpokesDweeb Jay Cardboard on Thursday said the U.S. welcomed the Ukrainian parliament’s efforts to install new leadership and stabilize the nation. He said Yanukovych had “abdicated his responsibility.”
- OUR NUMBER TWO INTERNATIONAL CRISIS STORY THIS WEEK was when Russian President Vladimir Putin was poised to invade Ukraine with military forces after winning unanimous approval for taking such a step from the notoriously rubber-stamp upper house of parliament (2,000 Russian troops had already arrived in Crimea), completely ignoring that “Budapest Memorandum” Treaty Signed In 1994 that could commit U.S. and Britain to defend Ukraine.
- AND OUR NUMBER INTERNATIONAL CRISIS STORY THIS WEEK was on Friday after armed men, allegedly Russian military forces, entered the Crimea region and took control of two airports, Obama then delivered a message from the White House briefing room, saying he was “deeply concerned,” then headed off to a fund-raiser where he declared it was officially “Happy Hour for the DemocRAT Party. Obama sang “Crimea River,” even as an audience member asked the president to “tell us about your plans for nuclear war with Russia.” No wonder it’s so difficult for other nations to take the man who is supposed to be the leader of the “free world” seriously.
- MONDAY in our Special “It’s Hard to Believe Black History Month Is Almost Over” E-dition, The Blower asked Whitey if he wasn’t feeling guilty enough yet:
Has this been the greatest Black History Month or what?! With Obama in the White House during his Second Term for the next 1,061 days unless he’s impeached, we’re really amazed they’re not calling it “Half-Black History Month.”
No wonder Buckwheat Blackwell and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane are so proud, after WLW Hate Radio’s Racist-in-Residence Bill Cunningham presented the pair with their coveted 2014 Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards, sponsored by Sambo’s Restaurants, for reminding everybody that not only was Martin Luther King a Republican, but so was Abraham Lincoln, you know— the 16th President of these United States who actually freed the slaves.
As always, all Racial Healing Items in the Whistleblower (like the one above) have been approved in advance by long-time Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston and Scott Greenwood, Ohio Representative to the National American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) Board, because you never know when some crazy person is going to file a frivolous lawsuit against you.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Bill Clinton in Kentucky” E-dition, The Blower asked “How Many NoKY Cougars Are Racing To Louisville As We Speak?” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Although she won’t be seen campaigning with Obama, people can hardly wait to see all those news reports after Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton headlines a fund-raiser in Louisville for Alison Wondergams Grimes tonight in her attempt to unseat Kentucky Senior Senator Bitch McConnell in November. Bill Clinton BJ jokes begin in five, four, three, two, one… —Late Night TV Joke Writers
Will Bill Clinton be coming to Northern Kentucky for BB&BJ Day on March 20? —Horny in Hebron
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Bubba in the Bluegrass” E-dition, The Blower said, “Where Character Don’t Mean Crap!”
Tuesday at Fox News, Chris Stirewalt was all over the story about America’s favorite DemocRAT testing his clout on the campaign trail in Kentucky, because how it goes will have a lot to say about the results of this year’s elections and the arc of the party heading into 2016. In a textbook Bill Clinton play, the former president rolled into Louisville to campaign for Alison Wondergams Grimes, the daughter of one of his former campaign financiers. Wondergams is hoping to knock off Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell this fall in one of only two potential Senate bright spots for a party facing a very dark midterm forecast. It’s a perfectly Clintonian moment: high stakes, big egos, sex scandals, retail politics, old cronies, his wife’s ambitions and the long-simmering tensions with President Obama. With control of the Senate at stake and his wife no doubt eager to show the family’s continuing clout in states that disdain Obama, Clinton’s arrival was welcome news. But it came at a cost.
As Clinton arrived, Stirewalt continued, Grimes is in a tight race and the junior senator from the commonwealth, Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., has made no secret that he believes Clinton’s past as a “sexual predator” should be germane to voters and candidates who accept his help. That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Paul’s “For all these people who stand up for Bill Clinton, say ‘He’s the greatest thing since sliced bread,’ he was a serial philanderer but he also is someone who took advantage of women in the workplace.”
Clinton has a famously short fuse when it comes to any reminder of the scandal that led to his impeachment and disbarment. So that’s hurdle number one: For the former president to not pop off in Kentucky if confronted with Paul’s comments. As Rep. Jim Clyburn, D-S.C., can attest, Clinton’s bad temper can hurt the candidates the former president wants to help.
But for Persons of Consequence, there was nothing really new in the Fox News coverage, since Blower readers have been reading about Slick Willie’s campaign stop for the past two weeks.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Sarcasm Alert” E-dition, The Blower said, “Because beating the crap out of stupid people is illegal!!”
For the past several days, The Blower has been making jokes about our Feckless Fishwrappers’ Fetish about “Early Voting.” In Tuesday’s E-dition (published on Monday), we said all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, rather than mailing in absentee ballots.
In Wednesday’s Blower (published on Tuesday), Tattling Troublemaker Tino Delgato joked that almost every day in The Fishwrap you could see pictures of long lines of these same stupid people who hadn’t yet figured out it’s cheaper to mail in an absentee ballot to vote early, instead of walking to their conveniently located neighborhood polling places on Election Day.
So what to our wondering eyes did appear on Wednesday’s Front Page of The Fishwrap? Sharon Coolidge had gushed into print to report that Dumbed-Down DemocRATS were decrying a ruling by GOP Secretary of State John Husted that early voting across Ohio on Sundays had been eliminated. You never heard such caterwauling in your life from Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka. And in Wednesday’s online version, we saw another picture they want you to buy of a long line of Dimwitted DemocRATS waiting to vote. Oh, the humanity! How funny was that?
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Buckwheat Blackwell, co-winner (along with Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane) of the coveted 2014 Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards, sponsored by Sambo’s Restaurants.
For those who don’t know, according to Wikipedia, Buckwheat is an American politician and activist who served as the mayor of Cincinnati, Ohio from 1979 to 1980, the Ohio State Treasurer from 1994 to 1999, and Ohio Secretary of State from 1999 to 2007. He was the Republican candidate for governor of Ohio in 2006 and got 37% of the vote against the eventual victor, Ted Strickland. He was the first black guy to be a major-party candidate for governor in Ohio.
Which is why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting Black Republican Elected Officials, to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
Note: This homoerotic photo shows Blackwell cuddling with Kane at the Hamilton County Northeast Republican Club Pancake Breakfast some time ago. Unfortunately for Buckwheat, the negatives were NOT destroyed.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Special “It May Be a Brand New Month” E-dition, The Blower said, “But our Long National Nightmare is far from over!”
It Was the Longest 28 Days in History
Now that Black History Month is finally almost over, everybody’s wondering when it’ll be “White History Month.”
Probably never, since we now have to pander to all those other minority groups. For example, March is now officially One-Eyed Hunchback Lithuanian Lesbians History Month. WLW Hate Radio trash talker Bill Cunningham says, “Now that February is over, maybe we can use the word ‘niggardly’ again without being called racists.”
And with this year’s Black History Month (now called Half-Black History Month in honor of the current resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue) only 28 days long, several Black Guys still didn’t get their “profiles” in The Fishwrap. To deserving darkies like Nate “Rhymes with Hate” Livingston, “Buckwheat” Blackwell, and Ken “Mad Dawg” Lawson, Metro Mole says one of Skaggie Maggie’s minions is now writing his sincerest apologies.
However all month at the end of every aisle at Kroger grocery store, you saw a photograph and biography of a black person. In Hyde Park, these were the only black people inside the entire store.
Even The Blower ran out of days this month and couldn’t run a Black History Month Racial Healing Profile for That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch’s eviler twin sister Jennifer Black.
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
[READ MORE HERE]
More Weekend Political Insight This Weekend
FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says Black History Month 2014 is finally over, and Skaggie Maggie’s Minions will have to chose to promote some other items on the Liberal Agenda to promote, everybody was wondering what other progressive causes would be getting all that free publicity, like Tolerance For Murdering Muslims, Amnesty for Future DemocRAT Voting Illegal Immigrants, Banishing All Cigarette Smokers, Baby Killing, Ecology, Feminism, Global Warming, Gun Control, Changing the Name of the Washington Redskins, More Political Correctness, Liberal Brainwashing 24/7, The Nanny State, Academia Nuts, and Improved Early Voting Access for All Those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, rather than mailing in absentee ballots. We didn’t have to wait long, since Diversity Page Editor David Holthaus jumped the gun in the February 28 edition, with a guest editorial by a retired pastor from Tennessee who had officiated at the wedding of a pair of perverts in Alabama, because as we all know only too well, in Cincinnati, it’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made America great, it’s our “Diversity!”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1807, Congress abolished the African slave trade, but according to The Blower, The Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center still “Permanently Enslaves the Over-Taxed Payers of Hamilton County.” - THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose “White Guilt, it makes you keep on giving.”
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says in the face of a public outcry, the Federal Communications Commission has backed off a plan to determine if the news media is meeting the public’s “critical information needs.” Seventy-one percent (71%) of voters say it is not the government’s role to monitor the content of news organizations in this country.
- DUMBED-DOWN DEMOCRATS: This weekend, Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose just got done donating to 87 different DemocRAT campaigns, because it was their last chance to contribute before the all important filing deadline at midnight on February 28. The also sent in $5 to Obama’s Organizing for Action Scam, in order to be first in their neighborhood to donate during the equally vital March fundraising period.
FROM CROPPER’S CRAPPER: This week, Obama’s Doofus Vice President Joe Biden admits ObamaCare signups might fall short of their goal. [See More of Edward Cropper’s Photo Shop Editorial Spoofs on Current Events Here]- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo reports our Vanilla Hills Vigilante says our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders doesn’t want jurors to be told that police officers shot Ronald “One Ball” Corman in the groin during a lengthy standoff one year ago in Vanilla Hills. In Monday’s case before Kenton Circuit Judge Patricia Summe, The Robster says, “Sometimes Bleeding Heart Juries go easy on a defendant who’s had a testicle and part of his penis shot off.”
RETURN OF THE WHITE DEATH: Outside the newsroom window at the Whistleblower Newswire on Saturday afternoon, the sky was blue, the robins and wrens were thinking spring had already arrived, the temperature was 52 degrees, and it was hard to believe all those hysterical TV weather guessers’ predictions inciting panic by telling all their dumbed down viewers to go to the store and stock up on at least three weeks’ worth of milk, eggs, and toilet paper. This is what they said your front yard would look like Monday morning.
IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says on Friday, two Conservative State Rep-tiles from Southwest Ohio were not endorsed by the Ohio Republican Party (Ron Maag from Warren County and John Becker from Clermont County) for not supporting the blind allegiance to of the Ohio RINO Party and their tax-and spend incumbents. Both Maag and Becker are Whistleblower Facebook Faux Friends. Is that ever a coincidence or what?!
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: One of the reasons Dainty DemocRAT former Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory gave for giving deadbeat Liz Rogers a gift of almost $1,000,000 of city money in 2012 for her Banks restaurant Mahogany was, “She makes great peach cobbler.” Has anybody ever asked if Mallory and Rogers are related? And, guess what? Mahogany Restaurant doesn’t have peach cobbler, or any cobbler, on its menu now. Who’s going to start a betting pool on when deadbeat desperado Liz will run off from her restaurant, leaving everyone, including the city of Cincinnati, holding the bag? And when it happens, you can bet John Cranley will say something good about her after she runs off.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Conan O’Brien’s “The very first Academy Awards ceremony lasted 15 minutes. And thanks to the fast-forward button on my DVR, so will this year’s.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #258 says “Tell a Joke”:
Q. What’s the difference between ObamaCare and a car battery?A. The car battery has a positive side.
THE FOIBLES OF FRED: Two years ago in The Blower’s March 2, 2012 E-dition, when DemocRAT Ohio First District Congressional Candidate Fred Kundrata was running as a Republican Congressional Candidate in Ohio’s Second District, Flim-Flamming Flyboy Fred was claiming he had not been recruited to get into the race to attack “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s war hero opponent Brad Wenstrup.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for Mardi Gras, we just came across his “Lust in My Heart,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Want Some Candy, Little Girl?
Fashion says it’s OK
To put young girls’ charms on display
But if you should just touch
I’ll tell you this much
The cops will put you away.
THIS WEEK’S SEEDIEST KID OF ALL WAS “ME, GREG” HARTMANN,” an attention-starved Hyde Park second-grader who was never chosen for anything important, no matter how much he sucked up to everybody at school. [READ MORE HERE]
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “GRIPE,” We learned about the that irate phone call from Commissioner Swindle in Patronage County, who complained,“Why do you always gripe about the way politicians steal taxpayers’ money. “Gripe, gripe, gripe—all you ever do is gripe!” That op-ed column first appeared in the legendary Mt. Washington Press on February 25, 1981.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY: Organizers are acknowledging that it’s been a long time since Obama won re-election in 2012, and many people are still waiting for all that FREE Stuff he promised. It’s not their problem that other people want to work for a living, and they have no problem with having other people pay everything for them. “Obama has uplifted us all,” they say, but they’re still waiting to receive free phones, gas, healthcare, and everything else that most people who work have to pay for.
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES applauds that Fox TV News story about that Blue Ash family with a miniature horse as a service animal suing their city, saying it is violating federal housing law and protections for people with disabilities by refusing to let them keep the animal. [READ MORE HERE]- THE ANDERSON TEA PARTY says Peter $tautberg (the best State Rep-Tile Money Can Buy) will not be available to his constituents at the Anderson Township Republican Club’s Candidate Forum on March 5 because he will be attending his own campaign fundraiser that evening. The Anderson Republican Club always meets the first Wednesday of the month and all Anderson residents are invited. Unless you wish to pay $150 to attend his fundraiser, you will not have an opportunity to personally him about his position on Repealing Common Core in Ohio (OH HB237). Incumbent Stautberg not only deemed it unimportant to attend next Wednesday’s candidate forum, by default, but he’s also acknowledging that the most engaged Anderson Republicans are not supporting his primary campaign.
- THE REJUVENATED REDS: Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball says after watching Bryan Price’s Reds win their first Spring Training Game on Wednesday, everybody agreed it was a real shame Price wasn’t managing the team’s previous game, when they lost 6-2 in Pittsburg at the Wild Card Playoff Game in 2013.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: By now just about everybody, including the NoKY Chamber has figured out “For Whom the Bridge Tolls,” it tolls for every driver of an automobile on I-75 who wants to cross the Ohio River.- ALSO IN NoKY, ever since long-time Whistleblower reader William Taylor Robinson III received the distinct honor of be named The Blower’s Guest Editor on January 31, his prospects have really been looking up. Just this week he even got his old job back as chairman of the Kenton County Airport Board he used to have from 2004-06. All it took for Kenton County Judge-executive Steve Arlinghaus to beg WT3 to return was for Chairman Jim Huff, Vice Chairman Larry Savage, and board member Mark Arnzen to resign due to scandal.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders asked Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if, now that February’s Black History Month was over at last, March would be White History Month. “Sorry,” Kane explained. “March is now officially One-Eyed Hunchback Lithuanian Lesbians History Month. There during the rest of the year, there all those other minority groups to pander to.”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
Monday (March 3) we’ll covering the 86th Annual Academy Awards in Hollywood, as well as continuing to count down the 1,055 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- Tuesday (March 4) we’ll we covering the real Mardi Gras in New Orleans, and we’ll see what our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers have to say about that.
- Wednesday, (March 5) we’ll be wishing everybody a “Multiple Personality Day,” and you might have to do so multiple times, once for each personality.
- Thursday (March 6) is Dentist’s Day, when we’ll learn that the fear of going to the dentist ranks right up there with…. the fear of having your teeth yanked out.
- The first line of Friday’s (March 7) limerick is: “Here’s why Republicans like TEA.”
- And Saturday (March 8), we’ll be celebrating the arrival of Daylight Savings Time.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Peter $tautberg (the best State Rep-Tile Money Can Buy)
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Sunday Night’s Weather Report
(Sent in Faux Facebook Friend Bobby Leach—248 Friends, 8 Mutual, who can still be heard playing Oldies on a one-lung radio station in Huntington, West Virginia)
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