SUNDAY, JANUARY 8, 2017
LARRY FROM YORKTOWN, VIRGINIA says on January 8, 1964, Lyndon Johnson declared war on poverty and we are still fighting this war today with no end in sight. We need an exit strategy. How about January 20, 2017.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE LBJ’s “A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he’s going to get sick on it.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says 57% of Democrats want Trump to succeed. No Kidding! (MORE)
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked JAMES CORDEN’S “Yesterday Donald Trump tweeted at North Korea after they announced plans to test an intercontinental nuclear weapon. Trump tweeted, ‘It won’t happen.’ I’d like to believe he’s right, but ‘It won’t happen’ is exactly what everyone said about Trump becoming president. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure you can’t stop a nuclear missile by tweeting at it.”
AND STEPHEN COLBERT said “We’re a little over two weeks from Trump’s inauguration. Typically, you’ve got a bunch of stars there at the inauguration to perform for the new president. Reagan had Frank Sinatra, Clinton had Fleetwood Mac, George W. Bush had Ricky Martin, Obama had Beyonce. So, obviously, for Trump, everybody who’s anybody is going to be there, except for anybody. Because he’s having a wee bit of trouble getting famous acts to perform. Turns out the Mormon tabernacle choir is scheduled to perform, but over the weekend, a choir member resigned because she didn’t want to perform for Trump. Now the choir needs to fill that empty spot with a Mormon who has free time and can sing — Trump has a job for Mitt Romney after all!
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today, Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, remembers a poem entitled “Winter” that simply said, “Jesus H. Christ, it’s cold out there! (The end)?” Well today, the Bard of Cleves has another fast four-liner about our climate:
They say there is Global Warming,
But if I may be so crass;
This friggin’ Global Warming,
Is really freezing my ass!
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Juanito Rameriz Story.”
LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “The Eyes Have It” first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 30, 1981, and was personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER knows how many Fuse and Zoomtown customers are not be getting their money’s worth these days, especially whenever Cincinnati Bell’s servers decide to mislabel their nightly media advisories from The Blower as “Spam.” 
This week Mr. Muck even mentioned a few names like Russ Jackson Jr., Tim Pennington, Joe Gorman, James Adams, Cathy Brinkman, John Becker, Tom Bryan, Andrew S. Pappas, Ann Becker, or Brian Shrive today, please let them know The Blower is still in business at Whistleblower-Newswire.com.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” tell them you don’t give a damn about the polar bears. And it’s not because you don’t like cute, fluffy, white carnivores; it’s because you find it hard to accept that a species whose population has increased fivefold—from 5,000 to 25,000—in the last five decades can actually be in any kind of trouble.
GOING GALT: We remember a couple of years ago this week when Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) asked Republicans to stop reading Ayn Rand books and help DemocRATS pass legislation aimed at continuing their 50 Year Failed War on Poverty.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says with President Trump taking over the White House two weeks from today, and his rallying cry of bringing more manufacturing and construction jobs to the U.S., we may see a new trend emerging. It’s unclear that, even if his most aggressive jobs-producing initiatives are passed by Congress right away, we will see results manifest in near-term jobs reports.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others. Last week, the Florida Gators won the Outback Bowl which meant everyone won at Outback Steakhouse! The restaurant was offering everyone a free Bloomin’ Onion on January 3, with purchase. If Iowa would have won, Outback would have offered a free Coconut Shrimp to everyone, but the Gators beat the Hawkeyes 30-3 at Raymond James Stadium Monday, which meant the giveaway was a Bloomin’ Onion.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY AT SATURDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were reminding Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to remember to wish his NoKY Gal Pal Miss Vicki a Happy Birthday on Wednesday, but he wasn’t sure if it’ll get censored.
“I plan to send Miss Vicki a really personal message,” Kane explained, something like “Women improve with age. The older I get, the more I like them” on Miss Vicki’s Facebook Timeline.”
You really can’t get much more personal than that.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT Auditor, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that are due on January 31. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows how.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (JANUARY 9) The Blower will be getting set to cover Obama’s thankfully Farewell Speech from Chicago this week while we’re continuing our countdown of the 11 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
TUESDAY (JANUARY 10) our Real Subscribers will be checking to see if their long-awaited Hamilton County Property Tax Bills have finally arrived.
WEDNESDAY, (JANUARY 11) we’re checking to see if anybody’s still keeping any of his New Year’s Resolutions.
THURSDAY (JANUARY 12) we’ll be watching to see what more damage Obama has done to America during his final days in office.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JANUARY 13) LIMERICK IS: “The reason we have no civility.”
AND SATURDAY (JANUARY 14) we’ll be getting ready to enjoy all that Racial Healing in Obama’s Divided America during the Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday Weekend.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Tonight’s Whistleblower Video
CBS News Implies Facebook Live Torturers are WHITE – Victim is BLACK !!! FAKE NEWS
https://youtu.be/IUoOU3xvqU8
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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