SUNDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2016
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On CHRISTMAS DAY in1868 President Andrew Johnson issued a complete, unconditional pardon to all Confederate soldiers.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE “If blacks were given the right to vote, that would place every splay-footed, bandy-shanked, hump-backed, thick-lipped, flat-nosed, woolly-headed, ebon-colored in the country upon an equality with the poor white man.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says let’s put politics on pause to reflect at least briefly on the peaceful message of Christmas.Americans overwhelmingly continue to celebrate Christmas, and it remains the nation’s top holiday. It’s important to note, however, that Christmas, as most Americans remind us, is more about Jesus Christ than Santa Claus. (MORE)
WEDNESDAY NIGHT OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER LIKED JIMMY FALLON’s: Donald Trump loves Christmas. It’s the one time of year where he can say, “Those are real, those are fake,” and claim he was talking about Christmas trees.
SETH MEYERS said: Bill O’Reilly said last night that liberals want to eliminate the Electoral College because they want power taken away from the white establishment. Bill, you don’t have to say, “White establishment.” It’s redundant. That’s like saying ATM machine. The “M” means machine.
AND STEPHEN COLBERT on Face The Nation today said: “I’d like to interview Trump in “respectful” way.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today we have the “A Visit From St. Nick” from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, found in “Erotic Christmas Poems,” available at better sticky pages bookstores everywhere.
Ode to the New Year
Oh, the New Year’s a’comin’,
It don’t look so hot.
Yes, the New Year’s a’comin’.
Unfortunately I’m not.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Bobby Blevins Story.”
LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “JOB SECURITY,” we learned why elected officials need not worry. Their jobs are safe, as long as the public is lazy enough to need announcers to watch a football game. That op-ed column first appeared in the legendary Mt. Washington Press on December 24, 1980.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER wonders if anybody’s noticed how The Fishwrap has been outsourcing its Sports Coverage lately. According to CityBeat, Since letting go its longtime beat reporters for UC and Xavier basketball, our Feckless Fishwrappers have been asking freelancers and sister publications to pick up the slack. (MORE)
One story CityBeat isn’t covering, however, is how many Fuse and Zoomtown customers may not be getting their money’s worth these days, especially whenever Cincinnati Bell’s servers decide to mislabel their nightly media advisories from The Blower as “Spam.” And who knows how many other e-mails those customers aren’t receiving.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 102: “Tell a liberal how much you appreciate that the Obama economy is a system of checks and balances. He writes the checks, you pay the balances.
GOING GALT: The phrase ‘Going Galt’ doesn’t simply mean getting angry. Going Galt’ means asking in the face of new taxes and government controls, “Why work at all?” “For whom am I working?” “Am I a slave?”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Well, we’ve seen the Trump Rally push forward in a major way over the past eight weeks, but apparently a Dow 20K is even beyond its considerable reach. The blue-chip index has gained nearly 2000 points since the election and roughly 4500 points since 2016 lows back in February of this year. That’s a quite considerable whallop, but still not enough to reach that psychologically pleasing milestone.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others. Free coffee for the holidays? Starbucks is making is so, but the Seattle-based company is making you work for it online. Starbucks’ “Pop-Up Cheer Parties” are a movable feast, taking place every day (except Christmas) from now through Jan. 2, from 1 to 2 p.m. The catch is that the parties are scheduled in only 100 locations across the country each day, and you have to check the StarbucksCheer.com website to find out where they’re happening. What a BFD that is!
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what kept why he was so late arriving at the meeting. “This is one of the busiest times of the year at The Blower,” Kane explained. “We have to come up with the Top Ten Whistleblower Predictions that came true, and this year there were so many to choose from.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially all those folks who attended last year’s Whistleblower New Year’s Eve Party, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (DECEMBER 26) we’ll be publishing our Annual “Cinci-Kwanzaabration” E-dition, featuring a special looting and burning section for Racial Activists and Left-Wing Apologists in the News Media promoting the Liberal Agenda as we mark the 25 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History himself is impeached.
TUESDAY (DECEMBER 27) our Real Subscribers will most likely be telling us about their phony resolutions they don’t intend to keep in their Real E-Mails.
WEDNESDAY (DECEMBER 28) would probably be a good time to tell you about all those 2016 predictions that came true.
THURSDAY (DECEMBER 29) we’ll be telling you what happened to “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s web page.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (DECEMBER 30) LIMERICK IS: “In 2016 Our New Year’s Resulution.”
AND SATURDAY (DECEMBER 31) we’ll we’ll be singing Auld Lang Syne at our New Year’s Eve Party.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower CHRISTmas Videos
The Obama Christmas Song for Liberals (For The Last Time)
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