JOKE BIDEN* PRAISES OHIO GOVERNOR MIKE DEWHINE FOR FINDING NEW WAY TO WASTE OVER-TAXED PAYERS’ MONEY
WEDNESDAY, MAY 26, 2021
TRUMP’S ONE-HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY-SIXTH DAY OUT OF OFFICE
AND OUR UNKNOWN CANDIDATE SAYS IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY IF “MEAN JEAN” SCHMIDT WON MIKE DEWHINE’S MILLION-DOLLAR COVID-19 “I’VE BEEN VAXED” LOTTERY ESPECIALLY AFTER COMPLAINING THAT “USING OVER-TAXED PAYERS’ DOLLARS TO INCENTIVIZE SOMETHING OF THIS NATURE IS AN ABUSE OF PUBLIC RESOURCES, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER IT IS FEDERAL MONEY OR NOT”
Some Of Our Persons of Consequence May Be Disappointed Tonight
Regular Readers who usually pore over their weekly installment of the archived copies of the original printed edition of The Whistleblower (not the Newswire) when it was delivered all over town may feel a little let down this evening when this week’s installment doesn’t arrive, since our file copy of Edition #52 (published on May 28, 1991) is still missing.
There will be no Really Big Story on Page One, no Top Ten List, or the latest news on Mickey Esposito’s trial.
You won’t see Real Editorials by Publisher Charles Foster Kane on Page Two. There won’t be any Real Facts or Whistleblower Wisdom, either.
Page Three won’t feature any Cheap Shots at Hamilton County Auditor W. Emerson “Dusty” Rhodes, Enquirer Editor George Blake, or Hamilton County GOP Party Boss Ralph Kohnen, and you won’t see another Real Guest Editorial by Bunky Tadwell (about nudists in Cincinnati), or some Maalox Moments for the local DemocRAT Party.
You won’t see our regular weekly Real Letters From Real Readers column on Page Four, Another Exclusive Whistleblower Report, or that week’s At The Dirty Movies Column With Frank Weikel and Si Leis.
Readers on the South Shore won’t be reading the latest rumors about the sale of the Mike Fink on Page Five, or what’ll be going on in Mainstrasse in Ken CamBoo’s Bluegrass Holler column, and Northern Kentucky Bureau Chief J.R. Hatfield won’t be reporting the Frankfort Follies involved with the upcoming primary elections.
And on Page Six you won’t be seeing Real Business News by Hank Dorfman, or pick up the latest Real Gossip by Linda Libel.
Maybe one of our long-time subscribers still has his copy. If so, send it over and when we publish it, might even say something nice about you.