FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2015
Happy Friday the Thirteenth, Everybody!
Our Garrulous Grammarian says the first thing we need to do is to explain the difference between “Triskaidekaphobia” and “Paraskevidekatriaphobia”
Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number thirteen. It comes from “treiskaideka,” the Greek word for thirteen plus “phobia,” which means “fear of,” so Triskaidekaphobia would be “a fear of thirteen.”
Paraskevidekatriaphobia is the Fear of Friday the 13th. The word “paraskevidekatriaphobia” was devised by Dr. Donald Dossey, founder of the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, N.C, who told his patients that “when you learn to pronounce it, you’re cured!”
Hurley the Historian says the most popular theory as to why Friday is considered unlucky or an evil day is thought to spring from Christianity. By tradition, Friday is considered the day that Eve gave Adam the “apple” and they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden- of course, “Friday” wouldn’t have been around yet.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose this French Proverb: “A person is unlucky who falls on his back and breaks his nose.”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Dr. Donald Dossey, who asks if you ever wondered why Friday became the bad day of the week instead of, say, Monday? Who started this fear of the number “13” anyway – some dysfunctional Roman family, an alcoholic Norseman, maybe a drug induced Druid? Which old-timey superstitious “cures” can help you deal with fear of Friday the 13th, and if walking around your house 13 times really wards off evil spirits? Maybe it would be better to chew a piece of beef gristle while standing on your head.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in rewarding anybody making fun of stupid superstitions to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee also remembers Edmond Burke’s “Superstition is the religion of feeble minds.”
CANADIAN VERSION OF DAVID LETTERMAN’S TOP 10 by Saskatchewan Bill Cunningham
10) Only in America … could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000-a-plate campaign fund-raising event.
9) Only in America … could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black. 40% of all federal entitlements go to black Americans 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics!
8) Only in America … could they have had the two people most responsible for the tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.
7) Only in America … can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.
6) Only in America … would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just ‘magically’ become American citizens.
5) Only in America … could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as “extremists.”
4) Only in America … could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.
3) Only in America … could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes ( Nike ).
2) Only in America … could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year – for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.
1) Only in America … could the rich people – who pay 86% of all income taxes – be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.
A CAR DEALER’S REPORT by Jeff Wyler
One of my salesmen here had a woman in his office yesterday wanting to lease a brand new Toyota. As he was reviewing her credit application with her, he noticed she was on Social Security disability. He said to her you don’t look like you’re disabled and unable to work. She said well I’m really not. I could work if I wanted to, but I make more now than I did when I was working and got hurt (non-disabling injury).
She said the government sends her $1,500 a month in one check. And she gets $700 a month on an EBT card (food stamps), and $800 a month for rent. Oh yeah, and 250 minutes free on her phone. That is just south of $3,500 a month.
When this Obama voter was working, she was taking home about $330 per week. Do the math and then ask yourself why she should go back to work. If you multiply that by millions of people, you start to realize the scope of the problem we face as a country. Once the socialists have 51% of the population in that same scenario, we are finished.
The question is when do we cross that threshold if we haven’t already, and there are not enough people working to pay enough taxes to support the non-working people?
Riots? Be prepared to protect your homes.
BTW, the woman didn’t lease the Toyota here because the dealer down the road beat our deal by $10-per-month.
Aren’t you glad to know she’s so frugal with your hard-earned money? Was Romney right about that 47% or what?
AN EASY GUIDE TO NEWSPAPERS by Wedgie Washburn
The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country
The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time, and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.
The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
And The Cincinnati Enquirer is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
AND A QUICKIE By Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol of the American Presidency.
It is half-black, half-white, and everything it does, stinks.
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Today’s Really Stupid Liberal Statements Award
Mediaite reported that while most people were following the story of the University of Missouri media studies professor who bullied a student journalist in several viral videos, Mizzou Moron student body vice president Brenda Smith-Lezama had a blunt response for journalists who claimed their first amendment rights were being violated, stupidly claiming the First Amendment Creates ‘Hostile And Unsafe Learning Environment.”
Stories We’re Working On
REPUBLICAN PARTY PANIC: Moving to Draft Romney
HILLARY HAS THE VOTES: Before The Votes
OBAMA’S BIG PLANS For His Final Year
BLACK LIES MATTER Meeting With Dem Donors
CINCINNATI MAYOR CRANLEY Caught Illegally Campaigning At Polls
NO PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE at Patriotic Anderson Veteran’s Wall Meeting
$TAN CHE$LEY Still Avoiding Kentucky
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said local Veterans would be celebrating Wednesday’s Veterans Day festivities:
(A) Enjoying free food at Applebee’s and Outback: 2%
(B) Taking part in patriotic events in Anderson: 1%
(C) Having strangers thank them for their service to our country: 1%
(D) Still going to work every day during the Obama Recession, because they can’t afford to retire: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
FRIDAY THE 13TH HOT LINE
E-mail your luckless legends today
Some superstitious items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally superstitious subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Send Out The Clowns
Published on Sep 22, 2013: America is run by the people for the people–let us not forget. Morphs by Brisson Design, music by Carolina Taylor produced by Steve Nagel of UVPAQLITE in memory of David A. Noble (1984-2012) he never liked clowns.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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