TODAY IS
MONDAY, AUGUST 19, 2019
Trump’s 941st Day In Office
And even the folks at the Failed Cincinnati Public $kools are starting to teach practical math that kids can use in real-world situations. It’s about time!
Ramon has an AK-47 with a 30-round mag. He usually misses six of every ten shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Ramon hit before he reloads?
- Leroy has two ounces of cocaine. If he sells an eight ball to Antonio for $320 and two grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?
- Dwayne pimps three hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne’s $800-per-day crack habit?
- Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to get the 20% upside?
Desmond gets $2,000 for a stolen BMW, $1,500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1,000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals one BMW, two Corvettes and three 4×4’s, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $9,000?
- Pedro got six years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife Jacretia spends $100 of his hit money each month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
- If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3-8 oz. cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?
- Tyrone knocked up four girls in the gang. There be twenty girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?
- LaShaunda is a lookout for the gang. LaShaunda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats five rats per week and the cost be $5 per rat. If LaShaunda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week’s income?
- Marvin steals Juan’s skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15 mph, Juan loads his .357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?
Debra From Anderson Says Here’s The Kind Of Teacher We Really Need!
Quote for Today
“It is impossible to maintain civilization with 12-year-olds having babies, with 15-year-olds killing each other, with 17-year-olds dying of AIDS, and with 18-year-olds getting diplomas they can’t read.” —Newt Gingrich
…and furthermore, Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1969 they were still cleaning up from the Woodstock Music Festival. Liberals say it was all about “Peace and Love.” But how about the “Sex and Drugs?” Amazingly, folks at Obama’s “historic” Inauguration made even more of a mess, not to mention the chaos Obama’s administration made of the economy for eight years.
But Maybe There’s Still Hope for the Future
After all that bad press about all those teachers who stepped out of line teaching Obama songs to our children, folks at the Conservative Agenda think here’s one thanking soldiers you might be proud to hear from the third graders of Tussing Elementary, Colonial Heights, Virginia.
God Bless them, every one.
Another Whistleblower Educational Video
George Carlin – Dumbed Down Education
