TODAY IS
SUNDAY, JANUARY 08, 2023
TRUMP’S SEVEN HUNDRED-AND-EIGHTEENTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
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Yesterday’s celebrity birthdays included three American icons: Millard Fillmore, 13th president of these United States; Paul Revere, the New England Patriot who rode through every Middlesex village and farm to warn that the British were coming; and of course, Our Very Own Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, Charles Foster Kane. —Hurley the Historian
Don’t forget my birthday today. —Elvis
I’d be wondering if anybody will be wishing me Happy Birthday on my Facebook Page, if Facebook hadn’t cancelled my page because somebody claimed I was not a “real person.” —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Folks who showed up at my Christmas Party at I-Hop didn’t understand why I only ran for State office, instead of Federal office where The Blower made me famous. —“Mean Jean” Schmidt
We can hardly wait till Her Meanness asks for our endorsement. —Ohio Values Voters, after Mean Jean joined the “Gang Of Twenty-Two”
Please tell your Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Happy Birthday, since we mailed his re-estate tax bill on his birthday. —Hamilton County Treasurer Jill A. Schiller (Whoever the hell that is)
The Anderson Apocalypse should’ve published a special birthday e-dition yesterday to be read by a Drag Queen. —The New Forest Hills School Board
Miss me yet? —Revered Former Anderson Trustee Andrew S. Pappas
Is Cincinnati behind the times or what? We’re not even included on the list of shithole cities that have been controlled by D-RATS. —Cincinnati’s Woke Mayor Aflack
I can hardly wait to hear which loser will replace Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP. —Former Hamilton County Demo Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
Wait till your Beloved Publisher sees how we jacked up his tax bill. We’ll just call it a “birthday” present. —Your Disingenuous Double-Dipping D-RAT Former Auditor Who Was Also Permitted to Run Unopposed
The reason The Blower doesn’t have much Northern Kentucky News this morning must be because everybody’s out buying presents for Miss Vicki’s Birthday next WEEK. —Alison Wondergams Grimes
Please thank Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception for including us in last year’s rendition of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s Party After the After Party. —Howard Wilkinson, Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin, Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich, Lady Ga Ga, Roseanne Barr, President of Iran, Mayor Mallory, Trish “the Dish,” Mitt Romney, Hillary, “JayWalking Joe” Deters, Foxy Roxy, Vladimir Putin, “Millionaire Mike” Brown, Obama’s Mooch, the Birthday Boy, Whoopi Cushion, Sarah Baby, and Bill Springerinham
Clowns to the left of you, Jokers to the right, here we are, Stuck in the middle with you. —Long-time Whistleblower Persons of Consequence
How cold is it supposed to get this week? —TV 19’s “Trish the Dish”
Sheree Paolello used to always ask how warm it was when I wore my winter wig. —Jack Atherton, (Retired TV Anchorman)
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially RINOs in Congress.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Celebrity Birthdays to show that always all that obsessing over celebrities is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Joke Biden* Election Riggers Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House and get all of their local “fake news” from our Lying Leftists in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap, and on Channel 5, 9, 12, 19, and especially Spectrum
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely purposeful, especially WLWT AnchorBabe Sheree Paolello (whose name we have to look up how to spell every time we use it).
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WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Our Classic Mike Brown Video from 2010
