TODAY IS
THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 2020
WE’RE ENJOYING THE MOST IDIOTIC IMPEACHMENT EVER
On Trump’s 1,091st Day In Office

Trump Impeachment Trial Update

          At this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why so many people were outraged-and-offended after all of Trump’s enemies couldn’t stop applauding the Left’s Ludicrous Articles of Impeachment that did not include a scintilla of evidence that Donald John Trump had committed Treason, Bribery, or other High Crimes and Misdemeanors.

 

Actually, as any graduate of the Failed Forest Hills Schools District can tell you, “High Crimes and Misdemeanors ” are right there in Section 4 of Article Two of the United States Constitution,” Kane added, “because that’s what James Madison wrote when he drafted the document after the Constitutional Convention of 1787.”  

And even the Pledge of Allegiance says, “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” for all.”

Do you remember when Patrick Henry said, “Give me “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” or give me a death?”

Nathan Hale said, “I regret that I have but one Life to give for “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

John Paul Jones said, “I have not yet begun to commit “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie. It was only “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” that made me cut down the cherry tree.”

Samuel Adams said, “Someday they’ll name a beer after me, and when they do, I’ll be “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Daniel Webster said, “One country, one constitution, one destiny, and hours of “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

At Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln said, “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget our “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

William Tecumseh Sherman said, “War is hell– without “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

George Armstrong Custer said, “Where in the hell did all those “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” come from?”

Woodrow Wilson said, “The world must be made safe for “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Will Rogers said, “I never met “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” I didn’t like.”

General George S. Patton said, “No bastard ever won a war dying for “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.” He won it by making the other poor bastard die for his “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

FDR said, “We have nothing to fear but “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” itself.”

Douglas McArthur said, “I shall return– for “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Harry Truman said, “The “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” stop here.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “I think that people want “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have them.”

Albert Einstein said, “”The hardest thing in the world to understand is “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Sigmund Freud said, “Most of men’s problems can be traced to their subconscious feelings about “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

John Kennedy said, “Ask not what you can do for your “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Neil Armstrong said, “A small step for man, one giant step for “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Barry Goldwater said, “Extremism in the defense of “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” is no virtue.”

Vince Lombardi said, “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” isn’t everything.”

Ronald Reagan said, “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” in Russia. The bombing starts in five minutes.”

John Wayne said, “Sure Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have your dinner ready when you get home along with a big helping of “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” for dessert.”

Rev. Martin Luther King said, “I had a dream about “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Bill Clinton lied when he said “I was not committing “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” with that woman.

Charlton Heston said, “Let my “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” go.”

At every patriotic rally, Lee Greenwood always sings, “God Bless “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

George W. Bush said, “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” Accomplished.

Not to be outdone, Obama now still insists that only Mean-Spirited Republicans would ever commit “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Donald Trump says, “We’re making “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” Great Again.”

Finally, Nutty Nancy Pelosi says, “It’s not a question of “Proof” of “High Crimes and Misdemeanors,” It’s about “Allegations.”