THURSDAY, DECEMBER 04, 2022
TRUMP’S SIX-HUNDRED-AND-EIGHTY-THIRD-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Twitter Employees Go BERSERK Over Elon Musk
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
A guy we’ll call “Tenement Tadwell” wanted to ask Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane where PELOSI’S BOY TOY’S, But We Can’t Tell Which Pelosi’s Ohio First District Congressional Office will be located so he can be closer to his real supporters.
“Obviously, San Francisco,” Kane said.
Brought to you by BLEXIT:
Hey there! Are you a minority? Then you’re in luck! Benevolent politicians are working for you. This is the best time to be a minority because if there’s one thing we know about politicians, it’s that they care!
Here are just a few of the things our politicians are doing for minorities:
- They give you fun new nicknames like “breakfast taco”: Now people can know how colorfully diverse your culture is!
- They carry around hot sauce in their purses: They’re just like you!
- They will never hold you accountable for anything: Unless you’re Asian.
- They identify you by the color of your skin rather than the content of your character: Just as Martin Luther King envisioned.
- They end the genocide of your race by relabeling it “women’s healthcare”: Yay, abortion!
- They work tirelessly to make you dependent on the government: And then once you’re dependent on the government, they’ll tell you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Confusing!
- They will destroy your job, which gives you the chance to reflect on what’s most important in life: Do you really need food, anyway?
- Reparations are coming your way for something, probably: Just keep punching that ballot! We’re sure they’re coming! Any day now…
- Dodging bullets in Chicago is a great exercise: And Detroit is an epic obstacle course!
NOT SATIRE: A message from Candace Owens, the Co-Founder of the BLEXIT Foundation!
Woke radicals are attacking the nuclear family and dividing Black America. Our education system is brainwashing students in urban communities to believe in a culture of victimhood, despise America, and embrace an anti-family woke ideology.
That’s why I co-founded the BLEXIT Foundation. The BLEXIT movement is the “Black Exit” from victimhood and brainwashing from the media and education system. My organization empowers young minorities with a message of Faith, Family, and Freedom.
Please help me fight back against these radicals by empowering young people with our message. I’m asking the Babylon Bee to help me raise $10,000 for the BLEXIT Foundation. You can donate $10, $50, $100, $500, $1,000 or even more by clicking here.
Thank you so much for your support!
BABYLON BEENOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORTGannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President. Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
THE US NATIONAL DEBT
And Today Everybody Hereabouts Is Wondering Where Trump’s Next Packed 2024 Election Rally Will Be And Clicks On “Get Tickets Here” And Winds Up On The Trumpster’s Official Campaign Fundraising Website
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 700 days before the 2024 elections.