Daily Archives: March 1, 2022

“NOT NECESSARILY THE NEWS” (02/28/2022)

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28
TRUMP’S FOUR-HUNDRED-FOURTH-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS

— TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
The Bee Weekly: Thrash Metal Apologetics, Worship Leader Uniforms, and Star Trek Nerdery

Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.

 Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.

Are you having trouble getting your fallout shelter in order in time for the brisk nuclear winter that is certainly coming? Have no fear–we at The Babylon Bee are experts in doomsday prepping! 

Use this list to ensure you have everything you need:  

1) A ten-year supply of Goya Beans and a lead-lined MyPillow: Both are on sale. Don’t delay, act now!

2) A shotgun with a chainsaw attachment: Every bunker needs at least one. 

3) A KJV Bible: You can’t get to heaven without an authorized 1611 KJV!

4) Pocket English-Russian Dictionary: Есть только два пола.

5) Tuttle Twins Books: Might have a better shot of building back better with these books for reference.

6) A scalpel in case your gender changes: You don’t want to be caught without a life-saving gender transition kit.

7) Laminated vaccine card and spare masks: Don’t forget, we’re in a pandemic!

8) All 4 seasons of Battlestar Galactica: If humanity ends, at least you’ll be able to enjoy mankind’s crowning artistic achievement. 

9) Solar panels to combat global warming as we rebuild civilization: Don’t you care about the climate?!

10) All of Obama’s memoirs: They are very effective at knocking out intruders. 

NOT SATIRE: Help stop the next war by sharing the ideas of peace and liberty to the next generation with the Tuttle Twins books.

The Tuttle Twins children’s book series is teaching the rising generation about the ideas of freedom, free markets, individual responsibility, and American history.

It costs roughly $10 to print and distribute one copy of the Tuttle Twins. Our goal is to raise $10,000 from Babylon Bee readers.

NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL MORNING FISHWRAP  STORY

MAYOR AFLAC GIVES HIS “ICH BIN EINE KHARKIVOR” SPEECH AFTER SOMEONE SHOWS HIM CINCINNATI’S UKRANIAN SISTER CITY ON A MAP.

Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?SAVE AMERICA RALLY SCHEDULED IN FLORENCE, SOUTH CAROLINA ON MARCH 12

GET TICKETS HERE

The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie in their effort to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.

But first, we must see a Corleone  Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 64 days before this year’s primary’s elections on May 03, unless they’re postponed.

WILL PORTMAN’S ENDORSEMENT BE THE KISS OF DEATH FOR JANE TIMKEN IN OHIO US SENATE RACE

THE BLOWER REMEMBERS ONE ENDORSEMENT OF A WOMAN WHO CRAPPED ALL OVER HIS LEGACY


Ohio 2022 Poll: Voters Concerned About Inflation as GOP Voters Await Trump Endorsement

DeWine has higher approval among Democratic voters than Republicans and Independents

According to The Hill, An Emerson College Polling/The Hill poll of Ohio primary voters shows 39% of Republican primary voters are undecided in the race for Senate and 36% are undecided in the race for Governor. In the open race to fill outgoing Senator Rob Portman’s seat, businessman Mike Gibbons leads the Republican primary with 22%, followed by former Ohio Treasurer Josh Mandel with 15%. 

Despite widespread attention on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, just 4% of Ohio voters report foreign affairs as the most important issue facing their state; whereas 26% find inflation to be the most important issue.

A majority 62% of Republican primary voters say an endorsement by former President Donald Trump would make them more likely to support a candidate