TODAY IS
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2020
TRUMP’S THREE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-EIGHTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND MEL TORME SAYS, “GUESS WHOSE NUTS WE’RE ROASTING OVER AN OPEN FIRE TONIGHT.”
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So Far In 2021, The Blower Has Presented The First Ten Verses Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days Of Christmas,”
The First Verse Of Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days Of Christmas” was in by the Ghost of “Clean Gene” Ruehlmann, who says, “Hamilton County would still be ‘Red’ if I were still alive.”
On the First Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
The Second Verse Of “Mean Jean Schmidt’s” Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by “Mean Jean’s” Eviler Twin Sister Jennifer Black, after “Mean Jean” was again featured on MTV’s “Awesomely Bad Celebrity Fashions.”
“On the Second Day of Christmas, ‘Mean Jean’ gave to me,
Two Red Dresses,
And one old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.”
The Third Verse Of “Mean Jean’s” Twelve Days of Christmas was sent in by “Mean Jean’s” former campaign Mangler, Joe “I Managed Scott Croswell’s Failed Campaign, Too” Braun, whose Strauss Troy law firm partners might’ve been celebrating this Christmas if they’d finally been paid for defending “Mean Jean” in Columbus before the Ohio Elections Commission several years ago.
On the Third Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Three Borgman cartoons,
Two red dresses,
And one old crapper, from Rob Portman’s legacy.
The Fourth Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, who still claims he did not run down that “Bitch-in-a-Ditch” at the spot Union Township officials in Clermont County had erected a special sign for the occasion.
Instead, “TaxKiller Tom” is shown gleefully cutting “Mean Jean’s” head off a cake at the Marie Antoinette “Let ‘Em Eat Cake Awards.” It goes something like this:
On the Fourth Day of CHRISTmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman cartoons,
Two red dresses,
And one old crapper, from Rob Portman’s legacy.
The Fifth Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by Lt. Colonel Danny Bubp-kis, about whom “Mean Jean” lied on the floor of Congress and she wound up as a laughingstock on “Saturday Night Live.”
On the Fifth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.The Sixth Verse Of “Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by Clermont County Crony-in-Chief “Buffalo Dave” Uible, who said, “It never matters who wants our endorsement, since all the votes have already been counted.”
On the Sixth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
The Seventh Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by producers at “Saturday Night Live,” whose hilarious news parody made disgraced ex-Ohio Second District Congresswoman a laughingstock all across this great nation when Rachel Dratch played “Mean Jean.” It goes something like this:
On the Seventh Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy. 
The Eighth Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by Dishonest DemocRAT Former (and maybe Future Speaker of the House) Nutty Nancy Pelosi, who remembers in 2008, “Thanks to ‘Mean Jean’ (whose winning percentage was the smallest in the nation), Hamilton County turned “Blue,” DemocRATS won the entire state of Ohio, and Obama became president of our multicultural United States.
On the Eighth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Eight Dems a Booing,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
It’s really beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, isn’t it, Portman
The Ninth Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by Mean Jean’s Former Sister-in-Spending, Michelle Glass Slipper), who also betrayed her constituents by supporting more wasteful over-taxed payers’ spending on other local feel-good projects. It goes something like this:
On the Ninth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
Nine Bills o’ Spending,
Eight Dems a Booing,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
Your Load Is Getting Harder To Carry, isn’t it, Portman?
The Tenth Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by the guys at Republicans for Higher Taxes, who always applauded the way “Mean Jean” voted for every one of Boob Taft’s tax hikes.
On the Tenth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
Ten Taxes Raising,
Nine Bills a Spending,
Eight Dems a Booing,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
Something Seems To Be Missing, Portman
On The Eleventh Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by RINO Hunters of America. Joining “Her Meanness” On The Wall Are Boob Taft And Mike DeWhine
On the Eleventh Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
Eleven RINOs charging
Ten Taxes Raising,
Nine Bills a Spending,
Eight Dems a Booing,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
Are We Having Fun Yet, Portman?
And Tonight, We Proudly Present Verse Number Twelve
Finally, The Twelfth Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced-D-RAT Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Totally Disbarred-But-Not-yet-Indicted Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley, whose fund-raiser for “Mean Jean” Schmidt in June 2008 foreshadowed the complete surrender of the RINOs on Walnut Street and the “Bluing of Hamilton County.” It goes something like this:
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
Twelve phony fund-raisers,
Eleven RINOs charging
Ten Taxes Raising,
Nine Bills a Spending,
Eight Dems a Booing,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
And Now Everybody Knows Why Your Legacy’s In The Crapper, Portman?
