WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 2021
TRUMP’S ONE-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY-FIRST DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS

— TODAY’S CONSERVATIVE AGENDA VIDEO —

This Monster Kills If It Hears You… Say An Opinion It Doesn’t Like

— TRUMP RALLY UPDATE —TICKETS

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Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.

Everyone knows the 2020 election was literally the most secure and fair presidential election—like, ever. But we know there are still a few skeptics out there. Here at the Bee, our number one mission is to prevent the spread of misinformation and make sure everyone still has faith in our democracy.

To help convince you, here is the undeniable evidence the election was fair:

1. Literally everyone says so:Duh. The 2020 election couldn’t have been rigged because all the people who are cool and smart and not weird say so. Do you want to look like a weirdo? Ew.
2. Journalists were fair and balanced in assessing the qualities of moderate, kind, decent Joe Biden, and of his opponent Hitler: Thank God for the press! They really made sure to give a fair and honest assessment of the most popular and wonderful president ever and the evil orange monster who wanted to kill democracy and take away all our norms and stuff. Great job, journalists!
3. Mail-in votes were handled by USPS—the most reliable, trustworthy company on the planet:The post office almost never screws up, loses, or delays US mail. It’s quite amazing, really.
4. Vote counters in Philadelphia and Detroit spent many years practicing how to count before election night:Some of them since kindergarten! The election was truly in good hands.
5. The Democrats have never done anything wrong, ever:Not ever.
6. Posters and barricades were held up to block people from seeing the unprecedented, blinding levels of vote counting fairness: Poll watchers showed up, but their eyeballs would have been burned out by the awe-inspiring amount of vote counting integrity. Many lives saved!
7. Absolutely nobody was threatened behind a poolhouse by a chain-wielding Biden: Biden is a fine, upstanding man of integrity and would never do something like that.
8. New York didn’t just accidentally count 138,000 ballots, a bizarrely familiar number: Science has clearly shown that voter fraud is completely impossible and would never happen here, especially in New York City where they’re really good at elections.
9. The election turned out exactly how your late great, great grandfather would have wanted: This was verified by his vote in the 2020 election.
10. The Democrat candidate won, which is perhaps the most important sign of a fair and impartial election: The evil, fascist dictator was voted out of office. Anything that was done to achieve this was fair, right?

We hope you have seen the light. Now shut up about the election you insurrectionist!

NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR TWO OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL NEWSBUSTERS STORY

Can You Tell The Difference

The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade against Political Correctness and the Devolution of American Culture.

That’s because America has just suffered an actual moving coup by Leftists In Congress, the Deep State, Radical Media Establishment, and the Eternally Dishonest D-RAT Party. It’s amazing how terrified they still are of the Trumpster and his ideas to drain the swamp (establishment of both D-RAT & RINOs) and take away their power and return it to the people.

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Joke Biden*s Second 100 Days To Ruin America. Today Is DAY NUMBER ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-ONE, But It’s Only 1224 MORE DAYS Till Election Day On November 5, 2024, to vote for a Real President, And Not Just A “Resident,”

It’s Only 125 MORE DAYS Till The 2021 Elections On November 02, to vote for Your Local Conservative Township Trustee Or Anti-Woke School Board Member Speaking Out Against “Critical Racist Theory” And Leftist 1619 Propaganda.

Plus with Rob “Fighting For Himself” Portman’s Replacement Election In Only 496 MORE DAYS Away Real Republicans Are Wishing Portman Had Just Resigned especially since RINO Rob just voted with the Dishonest D-RATS for that January 6 Commission.

No Wonder Portman Was AWOL At Trump’s Rally In Ohio.

 The Blower remembers Congressman Portman’s Legacy when he abdicated his seat and Second District Republicans wound up with “Mean Jean” Schmidt.