SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2020
TRUMP’S 1395th DAY IN OFFICE
AND HERE’S TONIGHT’S VIRUS UPDATE
November 15, 2020 Vol. XI The Great Reset, Election Style
My Dear Friends and Benefactors,
Isn’t it an awe-inspiring marvel to witness the power of our comrades at work? I am referring, of course, to the perfectly orchestrated elevation of our champion in shining white armor, Joe Biden, to the Office of the President-Elect! What a victory! And let us not forget our champion in shining colored armor, Kamala Harris! What a coup!
Leaders of nations around the world, and even the Pope and his hierarchy, are congratulating us and celebrating our victory. Champagne bottles are being uncorked! Crack pipes and syringes are being unpacked! Wads of cash are exchanging hands! Pizza and hot dog parties are springing up everywhere! Covens are cranking up their incantations! Fires are being stoked under witches’ cauldrons! The American Spring is here!
I must express, however, my disappointment that our joy is falling short of unanimous. Several of you have spoken to me anxiously about the court challenges and recounts. Do not be dismayed, my friends, at the piddling legal maneuvers being raised by our enemy, Mr. Trump, and his cabal of fascist white supremacists. These pitiful and futile ploys are merely the last whimpers of a dying administration, and signify the death knell of resistance to our New World Order. We shall stamp out these last embers of rebellion soon enough! As our outspoken spokeswoman from New York, AOC would say, “It is inevitable!”
I am anticipating with relish, as I am sure are you, the suppression of that opiate of the masses: religion. Particularly the pestiferous Christian religion. I am anticipating the tearing down of the Mexican border wall, as I fantasize about President Biden appearing at the border to say “Deposed Donald Trump, tear down that wall!” I am anticipating the influx of millions of instantly new American citizens from our neighbors to the south! I am anticipating the unrestricted resumption of abortion up to and beyond childbirth – er, fetus birth! I am anticipating the establishment of numerous autonomous zones in our flourishing cities, free of white supremacist police interference! I am anticipating the re-signing of the Paris Climate Change Accord, and the legislating of sustainable tax rates for the bourgeois middle class. I am anticipating endless COVID-19 lockdowns to finish off the evil capitalist economy of America. I am anticipating the appointment of Anthony “Do What You’re Told” Fauci to be the new vaccine czar. I am anticipating the arrival of health passports to ensure universal mandatory vaccination!
And I am especially anticipating a fresh influx of cash from China to keep us all in lavish surroundings for the foreseeable future. Joltin’ Joe paved the way for the steady flow of those benefits, but we surely have earned them by our hard work on all those mail-in ballots!
So, my friends, if you find yourselves doubting the durability of our resounding victory, just remind yourselves of the enlightened Marxist utopia that awaits us. America, the home of the free for the European pig and the land of the capitalist knave, will soon be brought to her knees before the workers’ revolution.
Socialists, march on! In Soros we trust! Sig heil!
I, your most humble Supreme Pastor, salute your integrity, authenticity and intersectionality!
Yours for a healthier (and more sustainable) Temple,
(Rev.) Jim Jones
Supreme Pastor and CEO, Healthier Lives Matter
Little St. James Island
PS: Since we all officially died in 1978, that means we could vote as many times as we liked! Do send me a private email about the number of times YOU voted! The winner will be awarded a night of special favors in our pizza and hot dog cabana, with special thanks to John Podesta!