TODAY IS
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2018
Trump’s 660th Day In Office

With A Stop At Walgreens For Some Much-Needed Beano

Mess Call was 1730 this evening for members of the Anderson Veterans Society of all races, creeds, and sexual orientations on the Fourth Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl.

The Breakfast Brigade began at 0600 outside Ohio Second District Congressman’s “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Office located at 7954 PFC James Miller IV and Staff Sergeant Richard T. Pummill Memorial Highway (aka Beechmont Avenue), so Anderson Veterans could visit every one of the 487 area restaurants in Anderson and the surrounding tri-state areas offering Free Food for Veterans on Veterans Day 2016, Bob Evans (Hotcakes, brioche French toast, and the country biscuit breakfast), IHOP (Red, White & Blue Pancakes, which come with glazed strawberries (red), blueberry compote (blue), and whipped cream (white), Denny’s (Build Your Own Grand Slam®), and White Castle (Breakfast Combo).

Mess Call was 1200 for this afternoon’s Grub Crawl Tour with many more area restaurants offering free food for Veterans, with a quick stop at Great Clips to pick up coupons for Free Haircuts for Veterans that have to be used before the end of the year.

Dinner on tonight’s Fifth Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl included complimentary appetizers at both Carrabba’s Italian Grill and Red Lobster; a special entrée on the house at Hooters, if you know what we mean; a free Blooming Onion appetizer and beverage at the Outback Steakhouse; and for a really special dessert, we couldn’t go home without some of that Double Chocolate Fudge Coca-Cola Cake at Cracker Barrel, that we planned to save for a midnight snack.  Meanwhile, that ever-popular special sit-down dinner, free of charge at Golden Corral is scheduled for Monday night.

Graduates of Anderson High School could always stop by to visit the Veterans’ Wall honoring hundreds of Anderson High School alumni, teachers, and support staff who’ve served or are serving in the military. Each person on the wall is identified with a plaque bearing his (or her) name, branch of service, and other details.

SPEAKING OF PATRIOTIC: Veterans at the last year’s Veterans Day Dinner at the Anderson Center were so gratified reading all those hand-written thank-you notes from those cute little area elementary school children, this year organizers wanted to see if some of the high school honor students at Anderson and Turpin could show how much they’ve learned during their years of education in the Forrest Gump School System.

A Turpin Sophomore wrote: “Thank you for your service to our countrie. I always think of you when I look at the flag. Have a great day. Happy veteran’s day.” —Sincerely, Melissa; An Anderson Junior wrote: “Thank you for serving our country. We are thankfull for your service. Thanks for being brave. Happy Veterans Day. —Your Friend, Zack”; And our Turpin Valedictorian wrote” Thank you for your service to this country. Your service let me and my firneds go for to school. I have freedom because of you. You made a commitment to let people be free and be able to vote. I thank you for your service. —Sincerely, Grace.” 94-year-old A.J. Hammond, the oldest veteran in attendance, said, “Grace will go far. She really knows how to suck up.”

Note: the reason all of these hand-written letters were printed is because cursive is no longer taught in the Forrest Gump School District, where dumbed-down voters approved that humongous $103 million Tax Hike Scam (that will really cost $170 million on top of the thousands of dollars in school taxes property owners were already paying). Recently we’ve seen a sexting scandal, where the cover up may have been as solid as those peckers under the desk until a jilted boyfriend unintentionally and indirectly blew the whole scam out of the water with some social media posts. And if that wasn’t bad enough, yesterday, the Anderson High School construction contractor was fired because of all the problems and delays.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about his personal patriotic message on Veterans Day. No, it wasn’t just by driving the bus on the Fifth Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl, where Anderson Veterans could visit every one of the 487 area restaurants offering Free Food for Veterans, but our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher tried to send a patriotic message to the anti-Trumpers and Disagreeable DemocRATS with Trump Derangement Syndrome by hanging a large American flag above his driveway. Others Kane wanted to send a patriotic message to included rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horn-swagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists.”

REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.