Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
FRIDAY, JANUARY 26, 2018
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
HERE’S WHAT RUSH LIMBAUGH SAID WHEN THE FAKE NEWS NEW YORK TIMES CLAIMED TRUMP WANTED TO FIRE #MUELLER
—Tonight’s Top Three Trump Tweet —
— QUOTE OF THE DAY —
— TONIGHT’S MEDIA MOMENT —
— CATCH PHRASE OF THE DAY —
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says words of wisdom overheard at the State House today was:
“Catch yoU Next Tuesday”
— Current Campaign Fundraising Themes —
Thank you, 
Donald J. Trump
President of the United States
Pitch in $1 right now to our State of the Union Response Fund to help launch our ads and all our efforts to call out Trump’s and the GOP’s failures:
http://www.dscc.org/steal-Trumps-thunder
Thank you,
Team DSCC
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE
— Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —
Letters: Boycott Super Bowl To Protest NFL’s Appalling Actions
— Tonight’s Whistleblower Faking News —
“All The News That’s Fit To Fake”
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM OTHER SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
(Commenting On Today’s Top Stories)
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE IRONIC TIMES, CLICK HERE
Cecile Richards: I Realized I Couldn’t Kill Them All
WASHINGTON (World News Bureau) – Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards is stepping down as head of the nation’s largest abortion provider.
Sources say Richards has become frustrated with a task that can never be completed, reportedly telling one colleague, “I woke up in the middle of the night with the stark realization that no matter how hard I work, I’ll never be able to kill them all. There will always be that dumb b*tch who wants a baby.”
Among the accomplishments during her 12-year reign have been the sale of aborted body parts, celebratory parties for meeting abortion targets, and specifically encouraging black women to have abortions. Richards also served as a communications adviser on Hillary Clinton’s disastrous presidential campaign, earning her the title ‘Angel of Death.’
Richards is currently writing an ‘inspirational’ memoir, titled Moloch Lives!, scheduled for release in April.
TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
Global Warming Is Caused By ‘The Sandwich’
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
Medical Marvel: Cecile Richards Is Somehow Able To Sleep At Night
TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
Trump Insists He Never Thought About Firing Mueller, Feeding Him To Pack Of Rabid Dogs, Mounting Head In Oval Office As TrophyDAVOS—Maintaining that the notion didn’t even cross his mind, President Trump reportedly insisted Friday that he never once thought about firing Robert Mueller, feeding him to a pack of rabid dogs, and mounting his head in the Oval Office as a trophy. “At no point did I ever consider firing Mr.… Continue Reading
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE— Tonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Political Posters —
— HERE’S HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re stil living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 371. There Are Now Only 1,011 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.
