FRIDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2017
Deterring Dirty Digital Discussions
This week, everybody who’s been anxiously waiting to hear what actually happened last Saturday when the Forest Hills School Board hastily met in executive section to discuss “personnel matters” and figure out what to do after Director of Business Operations to replace Ray Johnson resigned and Treasurer Rick Toepfer and Amorous Administrative Assistant ‘Insatiable Beth’ Brulport were placed on paid leave after the turned-on trio were accused of “sending explicit sexual messages to each other” during school hours and using school accounts and devices, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is our Anonymous Andersonian, who says, “The Forest Hills School Board probably found out the truth: It’s old news, that’s been going on a lot longer than a just a few months. Imagine the calls they’re getting at the Central Office from Moms wanting to know how to explain those videos their girls are watching these days. And since the Moms also watched them, where to get the new numbers for local cell phone porn stars Rick Toepfer and Ray JOHNSON.”
Anonymous wins an invitation to read his lusty limerick at half time during tonight’s Anderson-Turpin Game (if no penis is painted on the football field like it was in 2014), a book on how to write “Passionate Prose” guaranteed to “paint an amazing picture” to force women “to arch their back even more” and “keep rocking,” and a list of cell phone numbers for all those other female Forest Hills school employees who might also be turned on by “Sexting.” His winning entry is:
Sending Sext Messages while you’re on the job
Can result in an unsightly under-desk blob
And to thwart the surprise guest
We recommend it is best
To go down to the men’s room to fondle your cob.
And from the Amorous Anderson Laureate (Who says “Why should over-sexed teenagers have all the fun?”):
Sending Sext Messages while you’re on the job
Is a poor substitution for holding her knob.
But if that’s all you can get
You can most surely bet
You’ll get plenty of excitement from the media mob.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Is Real Journalism already dead?”
