WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2017
At This Morning’s Meeting Of The Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders Were Asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane About The Way Members Of The Liberal Propaganda Media Can’t Stop Using Fake News.

“Actually, as any graduate of the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools can tell you, “Fake News” is right there in the Declaration of Independence,” Kane added, because Thomas Jefferson wrote, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Fake News.”

And even the Pledge of Allegiance says, “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and Fake News for all.”

Do you remember when Patrick Henry said, “Give me Fake News or give me a death?”

Nathan Hale said, “I regret that I have but one Life to give for Fake News.”

John Paul Jones said, “I have not yet begun report Fake News.”

George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie. It was only Fake News that made me cut down the cherry tree.”

Samuel Adams said, “Someday they’ll name a beer after me, and when they do, It’ll be Fake News.”

Daniel Webster said, “One country, one constitution, one destiny, and hours of Fake News.”

At Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln said, “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget our Fake News.”

William Tecumseh Sherman said, “War is hell– without Fake News.”

George Armstrong Custer said, “Where in the hell did all that Fake News come from?”

Woodrow Wilson said, “The world must be made safe for Fake News.”

Will Rogers said, “I never met a Fake News Man I didn’t like.”

General George S. Patton said, “No bastard ever won a war dying for his Fake News. He won it by making the other poor bastard die for his Fake News.”

FDR said, “We have nothing to fear but Fake News itself.”

Douglas McArthur said, “I shall return– for Fake News.”

Harry Truman said, “The Fake News stops here.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “I think that people want Fake News so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.”

Albert Einstein said, “”The hardest thing in the world to understand is Fake News.”

Sigmund Freud said, “Most of men’s problems can be traced to their subconscious feelings about Fake News.”

John Kennedy said, “Ask not what you can do for your Fake News.”

Neil Armstrong said, “A small step for man, one giant step for Fake News.

Barry Goldwater said, “Extremism in the defense of Fake News is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of Fake News is no virtue.”

Vince Lombardi said, “Fake News isn’t everything.”

Ronald Reagan said, “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing Fake News in Russia. The bombing starts in five minutes.”

John Wayne said, “Sure Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have your dinner ready when you get home along with a big helping of Fake News for dessert.”

Rev. Martin Luther King said, “I had a dream about Fake News.”

Bill Clinton lied when he said “I did not have Fake News with that woman, Ms Lewinsky.”

Charlton Heston said, “Let my Fake News go.”

At every patriotic rally, Lee Greenwood always sings, “God Bless Fake News.”

George W. Bush said, “Fake News Accomplished.”

Not to be outdone, Obama now still insists that only Mean-Spirited Republicans would ever support Fake News.

Finally, Donald Trump says, “We’re making Fake News Great Again.”