TUESDAY, MAY 24, 2016

So Maybe We Should Call It “Two-Face Book”

At this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about last Friday’s “Failed Facebook Fakeout” E-dition, when Conservatives were not really assured after Obama-Loving Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and other Facebook Fibbers attempted to reassure representatives of conservative news outlets that Facebook would strive to make sure that the giant social media company didn’t bury right-leaning news stories, and that the Feckless Facebookers were really, really sorry if anybody got the impression that they weren’t 1000% totally unbiased

“Yesterday, Facebook announced the company was sending Facebook Fibbers out for ‘retraining’ and would discontinue ‘some of its practices’ as it sought to defend itself against charges of political bias against Conservatives,” Kane explained.

The online giant denied that it’s ever shown “systematic political bias,” blah, blah, blah, but admitted employees played a bigger role than previously acknowledged in determining what news is highlighted in the trending topics section, yada, yada, yada.

Facebook also confessed that “rogue employees” may have “unintentionally discriminated” against Conservative stories or even acted with malice in “isolated improper actions.”

“Sounds like more Liberal bullshit to me,” said South Dakota Republican Senator John Thune, chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, who is probing the allegations of bias.

“And obviously The Blower doesn’t believe those Facebook Falsifiers, either,” concluded our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher. We’ve known Facebook has been “The Long Arm of the Disingenuous DemocRAT Party,” ever since they disabled our Faux Facebook Account.