MONDAY, April 11, 2016
Getting Lucky in Kentucky
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says today may be Tax Freedom Day in Kentucky, but it won’t arrive for the country as a whole until April 24. According to our friends at The Tax Foundation, today’s the day in CamBooLand each year you stop working exclusively for the government, because every dollar you’ve earned so far this year will have theoretically gone to pay all of your federal, state, and local taxes for 2016.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Franklin P. Adams’ “Count the day won when, turning on its axis, this earth imposes no additional taxes.” And many people remember when FDR said “Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.”
THE CAMBOOZLER says Tax Freedom Day comes to Kentucky nearly two weeks before “Tax Day” in America on April 24 (only the 114th day of the year) and more than a week before April 19, when over-taxed payers on the North Shore can begin working for themselves, since everybody knows state and local taxes are lower in Kentucky. Maybe that explains why so many folks besides Bungals bad boys and over-sexed MILFs prefer living in Kentucky, the land of fast women and beautiful horses. Which is why Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane will never forget that time he had a three-hour lunch at the Wok with Miss Vicki and Y’All Ville Mayor Blondie Whalen.
To find out tax rates for different states, you can check that out HERE.
YOUR FRIENDS AT THE IRS say most people don’t have to keep their tax records for more than three years, but if we suspect you’re a tax cheat, we’ll make you produce every document from the day you were born.
OBAMA’S PAID LIARS AT THE WHITE HOUSE say since the next big fight will be about trillions instead of billions, please don’t ask about Obama’s proposed tax increases when he announces his plans never to balance the budget even during his third term.
WHISTLEBLOWER POLLSTER RON RASMUSSEN says “Here’s some good news: Twenty-eight percent (26%) of Likely U.S. Voters think the country is heading in the right direction, so go ahead and send in your 1040s.
HORNY IN HEBRON says, “You still haven’t told us which one of our local TV morning news babes was absent late last year, after sources say she was suspended for getting hammered on Opening Day, requiring the news director to take her home, and then she called in sick the next morning?”
Now Let’s All Sing The Tax Freedom Day Song
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower ridicules phony tax-fighters to show that pretending to fight taxes to make money is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who asking for donations every time they send out an e-mail.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Citizens Opposed to Additional Spending and Taxes.
Bluegrass Tax Freedom Day Hot Line
e-mail your celebratory commentary today.
Some tax free items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally tax free subscribers, but we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Three Great Reasons to Pay Your Taxes (or Else)!
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend, nearly noted author Mark Faust [546 Friends, 46 Mutual Friends, including Bob McEwen and Cathy Brinkman], who has certainly come a long way since he used to cut Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s grass as a teenager.)
Note: people who work in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower on their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have something to snitch).