SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2015
More Politics Unusual
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Obama says the Murdering Muslim Terrorists Disguised As Syrian Refugees he hopes to move here are no more dangerous than tourists. The governors of more than two dozen states, citing the links between those refugees and the weekend massacres in Paris, aren’t convinced and have asked the president not to settle them in their states. 60% of Likely U.S. Voters oppose the settling of Murdering Muslim Terrorists Disguised As Syrian Refugees in the state where they live, according to the latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey. Just 28% favor their state taking in those refugees. 11% are undecided. Obama is still planning to admit 10,000 Syrian refugees into this country next year with more to follow, but only 23% favor allowing those refugees to come here at all. 63% oppose Obama’s plan, while 14% are undecided.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER said there were some really lame jokes on Late Night TV this week. The best of a bad lot were Jimmy Fallon’s: In his recent interview with GQ, President Obama said that he’d like to own an NBA team after he leaves the White House. You’ll know it’s Obama’s team when it takes the players five years to pass something. Conan O’Brien said: There is reportedly a shortage of turkeys this Thanksgiving. So it’s official, even turkeys don’t want to spend Thanksgiving with your family. Seth Meyers said: A protester had to be escorted out of a Donald Trump rally last night for yelling, “Trump’s a racist.” The protester was removed because the Trump campaign has that phrase copyrighted. A new poll released today shows Donald Trump is leading the Republican field with 24 percent. How far are we going to let this go? It’s almost Thanksgiving. Trump is still leading. Next thing you know, he’s winning Iowa, then he takes New Hampshire, then he somehow actually becomes the Republican nominee. And before you know it, Hillary Clinton is president!
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN reports “We’re really surprised those Feckless Fishwrappers forgot to mention JFK’s Assassination,” said Absolutely Nobody in Cincinnati Today.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose President Lyndon Johnson’s “I’ll tell you something about Kennedy’s murder that will rock you…..Kennedy was trying to get Castro, but Castro got to him first.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #327 is when the holidays finally roll around, always say: “Merry Christmas,” never “Happy Holidays.” Not only do 70 percent of Americans prefer it—according to Rasmussen polls—but you are much more likely to offend a liberal. While 88 percent of Republican voters prefer “Merry Christmas,” only 57 percent of DemocRATS do.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Turkey Shoot” we heard that it was time to start taking your gratitude pills, folks. That way you’ll be suitably grateful next week on Thanksgiving Day. Except, of course, if you’re the turkey!
GOING GALT means recognizing that you do not need to justify your life or wealth to your neighbors, “society,” or politicians, or bureaucRATS. They’re yours, period!
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves is already in the kitchen whipping up a batch of Wilford Brimley’s Erotic Stuffing Mix for Thanksgiving, but he still had time to dash off a couple of early Turkey Day odes:
Too much turkey
And cranberry jelly
Too little trousers
To cover my belly
To get government job
Is my hope
Then go to the airport
To get a grope.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER asked if The Blower could run a teaser about that Police Department Corruption report he and his busy little Muckrakers have been working on this week.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says racked up a solid week on Friday, with healthcare, technology and consumer stock making gains and investors looking beyond a widely-expected December interest rate hike.
FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, and “Free Stuff” might have something to do with that story our Muckraker is getting ready to report.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS (especially Black Voters who sell their votes for FREE Stuff), RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way American Values have been continually denigrated during the Age of Obama as our nation is have being taken over by those who will destroy it Morally, Financially, and Politically. It’s not just the Stupid People who voted for Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS, but the rest of us have also allowed it to happen, all in the Names Of Ignorance, Apathy, Laziness, and Being Politically Correct. Shame on all of us for continuing to let it happen!
TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST: Saturday was the deadline for nominations for The Blower’s 2015 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant).
And like everything else in The Blower, nominees will always be discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law).
And don’t forget, Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring Eldon Pudpuller, a very troubled 12-year-old lad who ran up a whopping $38,000 telephone bill last month making calls to 1-900 phone-sex lines, all because his hero, Disgraced Former Masturbating Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien had “Gotten off” on a technicality for trying to “get off” in front of a Wellborn woman and Eldon couldn’t combine “whacking off” with show-and-tell at his Forrest Gump School. The Forest Hills Urinal got hold of the story, and now none of the Pudpullers can show their faces in public.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
MONDAY (NOVEMBER 23) The Blower we’ll be getting ready for the Holiday Season and telling you why we should all be thankful, the 423 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (NOVEMBER 24) we’ll be getting ready for Thanksgiving on Thursday, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be thanking us with their Real E-Mails.
WEDNESDAY, (NOVEMBER 25) we’ll be getting ready for the Whistleblower’s 65th Annual Seediest Kids of All Campaign (not associated with the Failed United Way) featuring some truly inspirational stories about the waifs and urchins we claim to have helped in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky, just so you’ll believe we actually give a big rat’s ass.
THURSDAY (NOVEMBER 26) we’ll be announcing the winners of the 2015 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant),” and we hope you’ll be surprised.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (NOVEMBER 27) LIMERICK IS: “The best part of Thanksgiving Day.”
AND SATURDAY (NOVEMBER 28) we’ll be trying to explain why all those “Black Friday” Sales aren’t really racist.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman and his hopes to be John Kasich’s running mate, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Hillary Clinton sings “I Will Survive”
Published on Nov 20, 2015 WASHINGTON, D.C. — Hillary Clinton has balled up all the aggression from her defeat at the hands of Barack Obama to fuel her bid for the White House. She’s on track to be the Democratic Party presidential candidate for 2016. And we can’t think of a better way to celebrate her efforts than to have a laugh at her shortcomings.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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