SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2015
More Politics Unusual
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says as the presidential candidates for both major parties lay out their agendas for the next four years, voters continue to question whether either side really knows where it’s going. The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that just 41% of Likely U.S. Voters think the DemocRAT Party has a plan for where it wants to take the nation, and only 38% say the same of Republicans. 41% say DemocRATS don’t have a plan for the future, and even more (46%) question whether the Republican Party has one. Nearly 20% are undecided in both cases.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: After the debate this week, online polls show Donald Trump is still in the lead, but critics say the poll is unscientific. Because even science can’t explain how Donald Trump is still in the lead. In a recent interview, Donald Trump hinted that he might consider Chris Christie for his ticket if he wins the nomination. Not to be his vice president — to be his wall between America and Mexico. Conan O’Brien said: Donald Trump’s latest attack on Hillary Clinton is that her hair isn’t real. Trump says he knows this because he saw her in line at his wig store. Seth Meyers said: An early copy of The New York Times best-seller list obtained by Buzzfeed shows Ben Carson’s “A More Perfect Union” is edging out Donald Trump’s “Crippled America.” And a little further down the list is Jeb Bush’s “I Don’t Want to Do This Anymore.” Donald Trump said in a new interview, “We started off with 17 and one by one they’re disappearing. It’s a beautiful thing to watch as they go out.” Which begs the question, have we actually just been watching “The Apprentice” this whole time? And Stephen Colbert said: Guess what, there are just 361 more shopping days until we get to pick a new president.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this day in 1977, President Jimmy Carter welcomed the Shah of Iran, and his wife to Washington when we had a good relationship with that country. Now it has taken Obama’s seven years to improve relations with the Murdering Mullahs so that he could get his Secretary of State an audience in Geneva for the Mother of All Bitch-Slappings.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Elliott Abrams’ “In critical ways, Obama has reversed not just Bush policy but every president’s approach to the world since the Second World War, save for that of his soulmate Jimmy Carter.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #322 is to find a feminist and see if she has a sense of humor:
Q: How many men does it take to fix a woman’s watch?
A: What does she need a watch for? There’s a clock on the oven!
GOING GALT means recognizing that you’re being punished not for your vices but for your virtues.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Hopeless Change,” we were talking about the official change that came over the Main Stream Media Newswire that morning: We were no longer calling Black Rioters in Ferguson, Missouri “Looters” any more. That term had been changed to “Aggrieved Victims of America’s Racist Criminal Justice System.”
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Thanksgiving is nearing and we have another timely poem from the Bard of Cleves.
Self Control
The publisher of the Whistleblower
Met a lass who was so sublime.
Only the lack of testosterone
Kept him from a sexual crime.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says he got a look at that report about what happened in Anderson Township on Election Night, and it looks like a combination of DemocRAT Dishonesty and Republican mistakes gave will be giving the Voters of Anderson a government they truly deserve for at least the next 1,451 Days until Election Day on November 5, 2019.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says the Paris Terror attack has sparked a sell-off in Asian stocks, so last week’s really bad been is likely to continue.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, and the cost of all that FREE Stuff Bernie Sanders wants to give away is only $18 trillion, which would double the National Debt. No problem, though, since Sanders supporters can’t tell you the difference between a Socialist and DemocRAT, anyway!
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS (especially Black Voters who sell their votes for FREE Stuff), RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster about The Blower’s special edition earlier this week when we reported Donald Trump’s poll numbers could be skyrocketing, and Kane said, “Maybe people like it when trump says he’s going to “bomb the shit out of ISIS.”
TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST: Next Saturday is the deadline for nominations for The Blower’s 2014 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant).
And like everything else in The Blower, nominees will always be discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law).
And don’t forget, Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring Butch LaDeux, a very troubled 11-year-old second-grader who was not doing well in school, even by the Forrest Gump School District’s standards. The truth is, Butch is illiterate, and he always tries to cover up his feelings of inferiority by punching little kids in the stomach and stealing their lunch money. For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (NOVEMBER 16) we’ll bringing you our “Political Prevaricators” E-dition as we continue to count down the 430 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (NOVEMBER 17) we’ll know if the Bengals are still undefeated and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be telling us if Marvin Lewis should be burned at the stake.
WEDNESDAY, (NOVEMBER 18) will actually be checking to see how many meaningless photo ops Obama manages as he gets the cold shoulder from Putin at the G20 Summit.
THURSDAY (NOVEMBER 19) will be our Special “Gettysburg Address” E-dition, and Patriotic Americans already know Obama won’t be showing up for the 152nd Anniversary Event.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (NOVEMBER 20) LIMERICK IS: “When Obama said you could keep your old plan.”
AND SATURDAY (NOVEMBER 21) we’ll be getting ready for our Special “Kennedy Assassination” E-dition, guaranteeing maximum exploitation by the Liberal Media.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman and his latest endorser Barney Frank, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
One Life, One Flag, One Mile: A Summary of Project America Run II
Flag Man… may be one of the best videos you watch all year! Never heard about this. What a fantastic story. There are so many good people out there – why do we only hear about the worst?
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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