Tuesday, November 10, 2015      

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Tomorrow, Obama’s Veterans Day greetings will be even more sincere than his ObamaCare apology. — Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus

At least these days veterans have found someone to despise more than me. —Hanoi Jane Fonda

Maybe that’s because for more than the past 70 years, every American President except Obama has taken the time to honor the memory and sacrifices of the 6,000 American soldiers killed on D-Day. In 2014, Obama flew to Normandy for just another photo op, attempting to divert attention from all of his military-related scandals, hoping nobody would ask our Incompetent-in-chief how illegally trading those five murdering Terrorist Four-Star Taliban Generals for a known traitor like Bowe Bergdahl was working out for him.—Veterans Who Remember

Maybe they just see him as another Liberal they have to obey and hope he doesn’t screw things up to the point where the next President can’t put things back together. —General Betray-Us 

And maybe it’s because the day has come upon us in America where we accept lies from our president. We accept laws that do not apply to everyone, not even to our elected officials. We find our Supreme Court hearing a case as to whether or not we can pray openly before civic meetings, when our nation’s motto is “In God We Trust.” —Conservative Commentator Allen West, Against All Enemies, Foreign and Domestic

Does anybody remember the President’s Veteran’s Day Message when I was the Commander in Chief? —George W. Bush 

A lot of folks were wondering if the stock market would be open on Veterans Day, even though the banks will be closed. —Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes

I’m still trying to encourage Chick-Fil-A to offer free meals to gay veterans on Veterans Day. —Rob “Fighting or Fagellas” Portman

”No, we’re not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.” —Harold Ramis (in “Stripes”)

“Army training, sir!”  —Bill Murray (in “Stripes”)

Tomorrow will be a great opportunity for flag-waving politicians to send out Veterans Day e-mails. —Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine

And to misspell “Veterans’ Day.” —Kroger’s

Happy 240th Birthday to us today.   —The United States Marine Corps

Is a member of the West Clermont School Board and active member of the Clermont TEA Party really announcing he’s running against me in next year’s primary?  —Lt. Colonel “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup

Many people are asking if I called to congratulate that Dishonest Disguised Obama Liberal DemocRAT who told a lot of lies to defeat Anderson Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson last Tuesday. —Disgraced Former Turkish Terrorist Loving Congresswoman “Mean Jean” Schmidt (Sometimes referred to as That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch)

Currently in Congress, only 20% of the members (20 Senators and 89 Representatives) have served or are serving in the military. Forty years ago, 73% of the members were veterans. Does that explain anything? —Paul Ryan and Bitch McConnell (Both part of the 80%)

Please don’t ask how much holiday pay all those Union construction workers would be getting just to work on the Stupid Streetcar on Veterans Day. —Cincinnati City Mangler Harry Black 

Does anybody know the minimum height for enlistment in the Army? —Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor-elect John Cranley

The Hamilton County Municipal Court Veterans Treatment Program was first conceived by Judge Melissa Powers in 2010 to help veterans who are criminal defendants cope with trauma resulting from warfare with the aim of providing healing, support, and a second chance.  In Common Pleas, Judge Ethna Cooper administers the felony court program. —CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street

People found it difficult to communicate on Veterans Day thirty years ago, since like today there was no mail delivery because the Post Office was closed, and there were no e-mail or Iphones. —Patronage County Commissioners Filch, Pilfer, and Swindle

Wednesday would be a great day to take a veteran to lunch, especially with all those Applebee’s Restaurants offering free meals. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane, US Army (Retired)

In Anderson Township, we’re renting a big bus for the Second Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl, where Anderson Veterans could visit every one of the 48 area restaurants offering Free Food. —The Anderson Veterans Society

We couldn’t believe you all the free meals you could scam last year on Veterans Day at places like Applebees (Free Meal); Bob Evans (free all–you-can-eat hotcakes); Carrabba’s (Free Appetizer Nov. 9-11) Chili’s (Free Meal); Denny’s (All You Can Eat Pancakes); Golden Corral (Free Meal); Hooters (Free Meal a free meal up to $10.99 in value with any drink purchase); Krispy Kreme (Free Doughnut & Coffee); Little Caesars (Free Crazy Bread); Longhorn Steakhouse (Free App); Max & Erma’s (Free Cheeseburger Combo Meal with Dessert); McCormick and Schmick’s (Free Entree on November 10); O’Charley’s (Free Meal); Olive Garden (Free Meal); Outback Steakhouse (Free Bloomin’ Onion® and a beverage); Red Lobster (Free App & drink From Nov. 11 – Nov. 14); Red Robin (Free Burger and Fries); Sizzler (Free Lunch); Starbucks (Free Coffee); TGI Fridays (Free Lunch); and Uno’s (buy one entrée or pizza and get one free). —Freeloaders Pretending to be Veterans  

See, there is such a thing as a “free lunch,” unlike when Bronze Star Brad’s Campaign invites you on Election Day. —“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman

Don’t forget your free haircut. —Great Clips

After I got out of the Army, I swore I’d never wait in a chow line again (even if it was free). But then I tried to get into Applebee’s and Friday’s for lunch last year. I can only imagine how long the wait will be tomorrow night at Golden Corral. —PFC Kadon

At least he didn’t have to carry his tray to the dishwasher after he was done eating. —Hank the Server Guy

Those GIs in Korea had the good duty. You should’ve seen the slop they served us when we were dining al fresco in a foxhole in Vietnam during the Tet offensive. —NoTaxJack

Next year they ought to have a restaurant where all those scruffy looking customers would really feel welcome. They could call it Slovenly’s. —Whistleblower Fine Dining Columnist Martin UpChuck

 Only in The Blower were people able to read about how Veterans could pig out on Pork Loin at the Anderson Center at 5 PM on Veterans Day. —Anderson Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson, Who Along With Fellow Draft Dodgers Josh Gerth and Andy Pappas, Never Served In The Military

And don’t forget at 7 PM, we’ll formally dedicate our Veterans Wall. —Anderson High School

Afterwards, don’t forget to stop by for some free Beano on your way home. —Walgreens.

On Veterans Day, I placed a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Draft Dodger in Saskatchewan. —WLW Phony Patriot Bill Cunningham

Actually, we all thought Willie’s would be serving free meals to draft dodgers on Veterans Day. —Former WLW Saturday Morning Trash Talker Darryl Parks

 We hope everybody remembers one of the really patriotic Memorial Day events in America following the Memorial Day Bell Ceremony Monday at noon at the Anderson Center was Darryl Parks’ tribute to PFC James Miller IV, for whom the Memorial Highway was designated on Beechmont Avenue between Markey Road and Nagel Road. —Armed Andersonians

The food at the Longhorn Steakhouse will certainly be better than what they served in Korea in 1967-68. —John “No Left Turns in Goshen” Joseph (on right)

Veterans should always wear little buttons on Veterans Day so we know whom to thank. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

The guys at Hooters bought me a beer after I told them I just came home to Boondoggle  County with the rest of the 169th Underground Mess Kit Repair Group in Boondoggle County after being in Afghanistan for the past 18 months and I got to see my six-month old daughter for the first time. —PFC Harley Mather

 The girls at Hooters always buy me beers when I tell them about all those enemy planes I shot down when I was in the Air Force. —Channel 9 Chopper Reporter Dan Carroll

The best part about having lunch with my two comrades at Olive Garden will be reliving how we survived that massacre at Fuc Hu.   What a battle, what fantastic odds, they never should have attempted it in the first place, it was three against a 1,000.  First they opened up with artillery fire— it was three against 1,000. Then they came at us with an infantry assault— it was three against 1,000. Finally, it was some of the bloodiest hand-to-hand combat in history. They were the toughest three gooks we’d ever seen. —Whistleblower War Hero Ollie Hackworth

We are pleased to sponsor the Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest once again this year. —Dummy’s Restaurants

Can people who lied about their Vietnam record still march in a Veterans Day Parade? —The Old Ranger Ed Moore

On Veterans Day, prisoners at the Kenton County Escape Center can even have seconds on “SOS.” —Terry “the Smiling” Jailer Carl

My girls are offering free hand-jobs on Veterans Day. —Phyllis on Madison

I know it’s probably a long shot, but is there any chance of being considered for the 2015 Turkey of the Year Award? —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters

Hey, Everybody… “Trish the Dish” is really a veteran. We saw her discharge. —TV 19 News

I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Maybe I need to explain why 40% of veterans these days need food assistance.  —Ben Swann

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially phony patriot politicians (and you know we know who you are).

 MORE VETERANS DAY E-CARDS

 Now for Something Completely Patriotic

Veterans Day to Celebrate Freedom in HD

Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if they have ever made a difference in the world, but the Marines don’t have that problem. — Ronald Reagan  — Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer — 

Sometimes The Blower ridicules phony patriots to show that lying about your military service is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Selective Service Scofflaw.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially draft dodgers who claim to be patriotic.

 VETERANS DAY FREE MEALS HOTLINE

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