Thursday, November 5, 2015
IS IT OVER? Have the people finally spoken? Every Election Day, fewer people of interest show up to celebrate at the Board of Elections on Election Night. This year the food was so bad, the homeless sent it back. Maybe it was all that crow being served.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR NATIONAL POLITICAL AFFAIRS ANALYST BRITT HUMUS says now with only 369 more days until the 2016 Elections, Political Pundits are trying to figure out what Tuesday’s elections imply for the time remaining throughout the 442 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term (unless he’s impeached).
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says only eight years after being defeated by John F. Kennedy in the 1960 election, Richard Nixon defeated Hubert H. Humphrey and was elected president on this date in 1968.
AND OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Nixon’s “I did not have sex with Marilyn Monroe.”
TODAY’S STUPID LIBERAL LIAR AWARD goes to Dipsy DemocRAT California Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez who claims Donald Trump’s hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend would be like someone yelling “Fire” in a crowded theater. Sanchez called his appearance an “affront” to the Latino community. Meanwhile NBC is promoting the hell out of Trump’s appearance.
OHIO TEA PARTY GUY TOM ZAWISTOWSKI, President of the We the People Convention, says Tuesday Night “Conservatives across our nation once again sent a strong message about the direction of our Country. Here in Ohio, we resoundingly defeated an attempt to legalize marijuana by a 65%-35% margin. In Kentucky, TEA Party Conservative Matt Bevin defeated the DemocRAT for Governor, mostly based on a rejection of Medicare Expansion in the State. In Houston, citizens resoundingly voted down the radical left’s insane attempts to impose a law that would allow men into women’s bathrooms under the guise of “equal” rights for “transgender” men – with total disregard for the rights of women! That is what we call a “War on Women” and Conservative Texans REJECTED it by a huge 61%-39% margin.” Zawistowski, concluded by saying “We see this as a good sign going into the 2016 election cycle. The consistent attempts by the Obama led radical left to destroy the very fabric of our society, by pitting poor against rich, blacks against whites, women against men, young against old, and on and on is being rejected. We expect that trend to continue and grow stronger as most American’s have simply had enough of the lies and the manipulation of the left and their friends in the media. Tuesday was a great day for Liberty.”
OUR FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS BLOVIATE about the “Six reasons that Issue 3 crashed and burned in Ohio,” but The Blower cites this number one reason: The arrogant, self-entitled, childish, belligerent, completely over-the-top campaign leader, Ian James, who piloted a campaign that was always ahead in the polls into the ground at full speed. His firm, nonetheless, is reportedly ranking in $5,000,000 anyway. That’s some payday for the worst electoral failure since the Ohio Dems ran Ed FitzGerald against Kasich.
THE CINCINNATI MESS: Deadbeat Liz Rogers, after about two years of making no payments whatsoever to the city of Cincinnati on the defunct lousy restaurant Mahogany, just made her first payment on the incredibly generous loan given to her by the city. She only paid a grand total of a measly $800. Rogers is currently involved in an ongoing prolonged legal problem in Butler County of impersonating a police officer to keep her Mercedes from being towed.
And beginning back in 2006, we’ve told you about the various scams and schemes of former Cincinnati city manager Kentucky boy Milton Dough Boy Honey. After nine years have passed, Cincinnati has finally discovered he was illegally overpaid from the first day he took the city job. Dough Boy Honey was anointed as city manager by former girly boy mayor Mark Mallory, the one who said he was never seen with a woman because “he was shy,” wink, wink. The mange-haired Dough Boy’s contractual salary, starting in August of 2006 was $184,291.19 per year. However, on his first day of work, “someone” altered the computer payroll, adding on $20,000 to his pay. Dough Boy, now scamming and scheming out in Phoenix, Arizona, say he don’t know nuthin’ about no pay raise. City clown-cil voted to open an investigation, which will go nowhere. The lone dissenting vote against an investigation was cast by Wendall Young, who doesn’t care if Dough Boy took illegal pay for seven years.
MEANWHILE, AWARD-WINNING PHOTO ILLUSTRATOR ARTIS CONCEPTION REMEMBERS SOME OF LAST YEAR’S LOCAL LOSERS.
BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO says no matter who you are, if you’re among the 70% who didn’t vote on Tuesday, you can shut the hell up right now about Matt Bevin’s winning the Bluegrass Governor’s race. You have forfeited forever your right to complain.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S BRIBE LUNCH AT THE HIBACHI GRILL & BUFFET, a Political Consultant asked our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane the most important thing he learned from Tuesday’s Mid-term Elections. Our Sarcastic Sage suggested “Maybe The Blower should stop encouraging people to vote. Some of the people I talked with on Tuesday were so stupid, I was afraid they would actually go out and do it.”
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
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Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our November fund-raising drive by the Dummy’s Restaurant, home of the “Breakfast of Losers.”
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OBAMA: FALSE HOPE, FALSE MESSIAH
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